Value of Word of Mouth

I just got back from The Reader. If I’d just gone by Anthony Lane’s review in the New Yorker I never would have gone, but a guy in the choir raved about it–the value of word of mouth. The part in Lane’s review that slays me is this “Their first time, though lingeringly shot, has all the finesse of cheap porno; where else does a woman tell a lusty youth to shed his clothes and take a bath because he has dirt on his face?” Uh–in real life? First of all, the kid was covered in coal dust. Maybe in male porn everyone goes at it all covered with dirt (mud?), but in the real world the one who gets stuck with washing the sheets afterwards is not going to want coal dust all over the bed (or herself). Well, maybe she’d overlook it if she’d been lusting after the guy for weeks and it’s the first time, but even then, she’d have to be really blinded.

Anyway, Kate Winslett was fantastic–I’d never been a major fan of hers, the way I am about Kate Blanchett and Helen Mirren, but I’m gaining respect. The young man who played the lusty youth (Ralph Finnes is him in middle age–I found it hard to believe they were the same man) was one of those actors who do wonders with the face. I think every woman should look at that face when he’s in love, and if her man doesn’t look like that she should return to shopping. There was, as the guy in choir put it, Holocausty stuff, very moving on the generation of the early ’60’s coping with loving the generation of the ’40s. There were not easy answers.

So what’s my life like these days? I continue to need way more recharging than I should need, a lifetime problem. I’m sure it has to do with housecleaning and taking care of people. I’ve discovered that when I go to NYC every other Friday to tutor a kid on Central Park West I have no problem with needing to recharge. I go in early and spend the afternoon in the Met, where I’ve been working through the Ancient Middle East section, trying to grasp the immensity of time and civilization, and all the civilizations that came and went like little wavelets on a bay’s shore.

Both Ben and I got traffic tickets yesterday–his was a lollapalooza one that’s going to involve going to court to bargain a couple of points off and paying 400.00 in the end. Mine was the normal 85.00 one I get every couple of years. Ben was taking Diana to work and forgot himself on the stretch of 18 that doesn’t have lights, tempts people to speed because the rest of 18 is a slow drag, and is patrolled by cops. (The paper said that the municipal budgets have been cut so the cops are recouping by giving out more tickets). Diana felt guilty because Ben was taking her to work, so she will help him, and her boss said HE would help out too because Diana and Ben are such nice people and bad things shouldn’t happen to nice people.

When Ben got his ticket, he freaked out in a majorly way, the way he did when he was much younger. It was his superbusy day, 3 classes in one day, he’s nervous about doing well in school, and has had a lot of obstacles (prof put reading material on a drive that all the other students got access to in the fall, a form needs to be submitted but doesn’t say where it has to be submitted too, and technical people were out of town, etc., plus H. is always obviously worrying that Ben will fail by not having enough character. ) Ben called me while I was in class, but the students were working on something so when I saw it was him I took the phone out into the hall. He sounded so terrible I thought he’d been in an accident. Happily, that was not the case, but he lost it. I turned into Mater Dolorosa. My poor child was in such pain. I remembered the day after he was born, the bassinets rolling down the hall for the 5 AM feeding, with his deep voiced roar over all the other crying babies, and me crying because I wanted him never to feel bad. Ai yi yi.

As for teaching–I do best one on one. I have one class that loves me even though I am really retarded about technology (I teach Scientific and Technical Writing this semester, which I did a lot 20 years ago, but now we have to use technology–smart classroom, computers, software–and I am only one step ahead, or maybe that’s behind, the class in that regard). My other class is a bit more skeptical about me. Meanwhile, I met one kid in the Douglass Cafe today–he has clearly been overwhelmed, got a D on the first assignment and hasn’t turned anything else in. It was a mission of mercy. There are two ways you can look at a kid like this. One is the Darwinian way: if he can’t get it together to do the work or at least make an appointment to get guidance from the teacher, then, hey, this is college, they have to take care of themselves. The other is the “If this were my kid I’d want his teachers to help him” approach. Major softy. But I got him revved up and on track, so let’s see if he can keep up now.

A is in Ohio visiting his beloved daughter, darling grandchildren, and the Neantherthal.