Looking up

What a difference a day makes!

All blue last night, talked to A., who pretty much told me the same things Mel does (don’t take chances, be cautious, email everybody), and at first he was even hollering at me the way Mel does sometimes–out of concern. He relaxed when I told him I got enough of that from Mel. We worked out strategies–go talk to the person who “tattled” on me to my supervisor without coming to me first to get the straight story.

This morning, I was all set to get the polite confrontation over with so I could have the rest of the day without unpleasant anticipations, but my supervisor grabbed me first. So I plopped down and said I was glad he called me in because I wanted to tell him the unvarnished story, which is innocent enough. (Has to do with someone changing a procedure without letting everyone know). He didn’t holler or get all aggravated the way he usually does, but listened quietly. He then calmly acted like a manager, talked about the political situation around here, told me (quite rightly) that I’m inclined to act without counting 10 first, advised me to check anything iffy out with other people and email everyone in the world. I thanked him.

Then I told him I’ve been feeling marginalized because of my organizational (and perceived organizational) problems–I’m not being given work that other people get. I said I have a brain and I wanted to use it. So we talked about various proposals that are getting written around here, research etc., and how I could volunteer to help out, see how it’s all done. He promised to keep an eye out for me, and asked if I was interested in doing a project our company gets involved in periodically out in Iowa. I said yes. (Iowa City is Mega Cool).

And finally, since he wasn’t yelling yet, I told him I needed a reality test, because I was feeling that everyone around here comes to tell him things I’ve done (or may have) done wrong. He said no one is coming to tell him about mistakes (I hope that’s right because I don’t do it to anyone else), and that he has asked people to copy him on all emails when something comes up that might end up getting THEM into hot water. So, I simmered down.

I’m just about to take off now–got a lot of choir practice ahead of me tonight–but I have to add what my darling secretary Margie just came in and told me. She had come by to show me a pretty fall wreath she made. She said she went to our supervisor today and asked for a 15 minute meeting with him and a selected bunch of people tomorrow to talk about the managerial emphasis on blaming that has infected the atmosphere around here. The latest business involving me really pissed her off, but she’s also had the same stupid things happen to her too. I told her that I did have a decent visit with our supervisor today, and urged her to be diplomatic. She is one of those no nonsense black women who whips adolescent males into shape, which means that sometimes her ways rub gentle white folks the wrong way. But she’s great to me and she has been very good for my spirits.