Holidays and PTSD

Christmas and end of the year always affect me. I’ve had nightmares almost every night since November and now December. About people that abused me. It’s stressful waking up and not let it affect me or my day. I don’t want to worry my husband so I no longer say anything about the nightmares. 

Finally finshed decorating the tree last night. Took my husband all week to get me to do it. I just don’t feel festive when all I can think about is a past that still affects me. 

PTSD is awfully good at ruining the present and future. I need to keep chipping away at this in therapy.

We have parties to go to next week and I’m so not ready for that and all the people.