Search Results’ Survey

 What’s one thing you have worked very hard to overcome? 

My first instinct is to say my fear of driving on snowy/icy roads because I have truly begun to be phobic about it. But really, I have spent most if not all of my life running from fear. Anyone who has suffered even mild childhood sexual abuse knows what I mean. I run from the demons in my head. I run from the fear of the fallout of my fear. I run from my fear of love, of being hurt by anyone I love. I struggle with loving even those close to me. Of cringing when I am touched and fearing when I am not. And I think my fear has decimated me. I am much less than I could have been. I work very hard at proving that is not true.

Name at least one in each category: A book, a movie and a musical group/musician you secretly, negatively judge others for not liking and/or not knowing about.

Hmm, this one is tough. Not everyone is a reader. Not everyone reads the challenging stuff.  

Book-Maybe Gone with the Wind. Most people have seen the movie and I am always amazed when people don’t even know it was a book first! And an amazing book! At least to me. I read it when I was 11 or 12 and I learned so much about characterization from Margaret Mitchell! It left an indelible mark on me and how I look at writing and, even to a certain respect, how I view people. The movie was pretty but didn’t come close to the book.

Movie- I like movies but I am hardly a connoisseur. I used to love love love science fiction movies and I remember truly being annoyed by people who didn’t "get" sci-fi. What I didn’t realize then was that sci-fi was an escape from my (hellish) childhood and than not everyone needed my escape.

Musical group/musician– Can I reverse this one? I cannot stand country music, any of it, and I struggle not judging others for enjoying it. Once again, I enjoy music (especially jazz of late) but I am shamefully not as huge a fan as others.

What made you believe or not believe in God? 

I wanted desperately to believe in God as a child/young person. I wanted to believe in someone benevolent and fatherlike..who didn’t frighten the living hell out of me when he touched me. I wanted to believe. But I don’t think I ever did. I seemed to come to this conclusion rather gradually but solidly. I remember being much more startled (devastated?) over the notion that Santa was make believe.

Describe the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen.

Trite but true, the first moments I’ve laid eyes on each of my four children.

Besides yourself, who do you love the most, and why do you love them?

My children. Why? Instinct, perhaps? A visceral mama thing that pores from the marrow. I’ve never ever questioned my love of my children. A rare thing in my head and heart.

Who are your pets? Include pictures, if applicable. If you don’t have pets, what pets would you have if you had to have them? 

I have 3 sweet pets:

Elsie, a bi-black shelty, a loving little girl (little being a relative term. She’s huge for a shelty at 50 lbs!) not terribly bright but coquettish and very very lovable

Sam, a beautiful sable shelty we adopted from a pet rescue very impulsively one May day nearly 5 years ago. He was skinny and shaved and absolutely pitiful looking. He was almost unrecognizable as a shelty unless you looked at him full in the face..which he was very reluctant to allow. We brought him home, nursed him back to health and thought we’d be giving a very elderly abused dog a soft home for his last months. Well, that was 4 years and some months ago. His teeth are horrible, he cannot see very well or hear either but he is the sweetest most reserved elderly gentleman dog imaginable. In my head, he carries himself like an aging male model (OMG his coat when it came in about a year later-fabulous!) and has a "voice" like a mild mannered, blustery Sean Connery. He loves to be petted but not held. He tolerates the boys well enough but we are vigilant about teaching the boys respect with our littler "grandfather" dog. He’s made a quiet indelible difference in our lives.

Nikita is our cat. I’ve had her since 2000. She’s a lovely smoke and pearl grey mottled old gal, a raspy whiskey-and-cigarette voiced alley cat. She loudly announces her entrance every time she comes in and and seeks out the nearest warm lap, not particularly picky over whose it is though she clearly prefers the males in the household. 

Photos are too hard to provide right now while the boys are awake.

What separates you from people who have shittier lives than yours?

Money, perhaps? We’re not rich but we’re comfortable enough.  We live modestly within our means and we have plenty of creature comforts, a roof over our heads, clothes, always enough food. We take plenty of vacations. We are able to pay our bills and we have good healthcare. I can complain about many things in my live but money isn’t one of them.

I can think of other things that I think elevates my particular life: education, being fairly happily married, being as employed as I want to be, having all the children I want, I have decent health thus far, I have interests. It isn’t all about money. Plenty of people out there with much more money but much worse problems.  Hard to see it some days but that’s life.<br style="font-family: 'Times New Roman’; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; text-align: -webkit-left; ” />

What are the ingredients in your perfect salad? 

Fairly simple: field greens, pear slices, goat cheese or bleu cheese crumbles, pecans or almonds or walnuts, grilled chicken or shrimp, grape tomatoes, sliced avocados, cucumbers, celery, red onion, some sort of creamy dressing, bleu cheese or ranch. Maybe some bacon. 

What do you think happens to you after you die?
Not a damned thing. Lots of fodder for imagination and speculation  and desertion but I think we just..end. Peace. Nothing more.

Now share an upbeat song. Any song you like. Either a link or a video. It must be peppy.

 

I love this video: