Bits for me..

 I get it. I am sad. I have crushing moments of it where I am sure I cannot carry on another second of my life. Then I do. Regardless, I go on. I might as well keep living it in whatever fashion I do.

I hear OD is dying. I hear Prosebox is the place to go. Just like me, it keeps  going. If I go, my name will remain the same. Or perhaps it won’t.

I don’t understand how George ZImmerman could be found not guilty. A bad sort of insanity prevails.  A young man was pursued, confronted, and killed..because he was black. That is all. A stupid man did something very very stupid. And was found innocent of his own stupidity. My heart is with Trayvon’s family. 

When will we learn?

Q has been found to have a fine motor skill delay. He lacks hand/wrist/finger strength. He has no interest or will when it comes to drawing/coloring/painting/writing. He’ll begin to work with an OT next week. I will keep him plodding along with small fine motor skill exercises. Even if I can only engage him 15 minutes a day, eventually he will catch on. Catch up. I will do anything in my power to encourage these boys to reach whatever potential they can and may achieve.

Cam is potty trained. He started pooping in the toilet  on our weekend at the caboose in early June. The following week, I sent him to school in underwear just to "try it out". Complete with a stack of dry training pants and shorts. Funny thing happened: nothing. Over one month later, C had ONE accident at school–which he had nearly a psychotic break over. Daycare sent home most of the extra pants. Completely anti-climactical. He is 2.5 years old. 

Took Cam to the allergist to find out how best to get rid of his epic runny nose and constant eczema rash. Found out much to our surprise he is allergic to milk protein. And not egg..as we thought.  Now we have to decide what to do with this "knowledge". He’s been consuming milk and milk products for his entire little life. How can I withdraw milk, cheese, yogurt, and ice cream from him? When he loves it so much? It’s obviously not a life threatening allergy. He tested in the moderately allergic range. Likely we’ll play it by ear. Of course we want him to be healthy..even if that means protecting him from himself. But still..

Another anticlimactic event: We moved the boys into the same room yesterday. At 4 and 2.5, they both still sleep in cribs. Q’s is broken down into a toddler bed. We’ll do the same with C’s as soon as we locate the toddler supportive "arm". I don’t know what I expected, but they both went to bed last night with zero problems. They both just..slept. Wild. 

The royal baby will be born today. I neither care nor not care.  It simply is happening.

We lost our sweet shelty Sam. For a week, we noticed his appetite lagging. He was suddenly slower, more plodding. His omnipresent cough worsened. Frank took him to the vet I watched him go through a haze of tears. Frank’s first phone call raised hope in me. Initially, the vet suspected an infection, perhaps kennel cough contracted during a recent visit to the groomer’s.  But xrays and a blood test revealed the direness of the situation: massive lung mets and fluid. He had cancer. I could barely choke out my reply when Frank asked what I thought we should do. I was very glad I had hugged him extra hard and long before Frank took him. He was the sweetest, most gentlemanly little dog ever. He’d been with us for 5 years after we’d adopted him from an animal rescue. We thought we’d have him for a year to 18 months. We were blessed with a bonus 4 years. Hopefully, we gave him a gentle life for the last portion of his years on earth.

He is missed.

There is always more.