Birdsong and taxes..

 Yesterday finally felt like spring. I took the boys to a hotel my cousin was staying at for a morning swim.  Q wouldn’t go in the water at all. There was a noisy raucous group of kids much older than my toddlers splashing and jumping around in the water when we got there. The noise level alone had Cam crying and Q flattening himself against the glass walls of the pool room. Took me 15 minutes to peel them out of their jackets and outer clothes. My cousin magically had 2 small life jackets in her van. I had brought nothing thinking there was myself and at least one other adult who could hold each boy in the pool. Need to make sure I buy life vests soon. Makes sense to have them if my boys are around any body of water over a few inches deep. I was able to coax Cam into the water after some time but not Q. My cousin swam with us for awhile and then announced she needed a shower and would I mind keeping an eye on all her kids and mine too…!!?! Was a frustrating and frightening 45 minutes. I left soon after she came back. She’s a cool person but a bit clueless sometimes.

Cool crisp birdsong outside my early-dark window this morning. Frank crawled out of bed at a crazy hour to go downstairs and do taxes.  I have trouble swallowing when I think of how much money we likely owe. I am not going to think about it.

Frank did more finishing work on the kitchen. The doors have trim now and he worked on some of the baseboards. He painted some but I can see a couple of layers need to be added to the orange. Its quite splotchy in places but so much better than the skim coating stuff. There is still the grouting to be done and the wall next to the wall oven/microwave needs to be replaced. Still, we are much closer.

The boys played outside like little mad men. The trees are budding and the grass is greening at a startling rate. Or maybe only startling to me. I think I am slower to "springing" than the outside is. I sat outside for awhile in the afternoon but I had a nagging small headache and neckache that the sharp spring sunlight only seemed to magnify. I was also grumpy and overstimulated and wanted to be by myself and read a book, any book. Frank gets started on a remodeling project early in the morning on the weekends and doesn’t know when to stop. I am left with wiggling noisy intrusive little toddlers who jump like mad little fleas from one activity to another, never satisfied for longer than moments, from dawn to dusk. Most days I can handle it but sometimes, esp lately when I want to do research for my project, I feel like I can’t.  I get tetchy and grouchy and I want to withdraw into myself and into a dim room to read and feel alone.

Today I was awake only for minutes before the 2 year old bundle of dynamite sleeping in the crib at the other end of the room stirred and called out of a dream, ‘I took off my bandaid!". Seconds later his little pumpkin grin peered at me from over the edge of the side rail before he vaulted over it like a mini gymnast and crawled into bed with me, demanding milk and a cereal bar and telling me he was indeed my sweetie pie. Ah motherhood..

Right now, I have my coffee and Cam is chirping back at Dora on tv. Q will sleep in a bit longer and already the greyish light of morning is revealing the neighborhood houses outside the windows.

The day begins.