All This Breathing In

It’s snowing pretty hard today. Phooey. It was getting all nice and warm and pleasant and it had to go and snow. Now it’s all cold and wet and I cannot wear a skirt. I want to start wearing my skirts, damn it! Mostly I just want it to be warm, and wearing skirts means that it’s warm. Bad snow. Go away.

My BioChem test today was HORRID. I have not had a test that hard since HL Maths. When I left the HL Maths exam, I was literally bawling, and Stephen took me out for ice cream and then a picnic. Today there was no ice cream and there was no picnic. There wasn’t any bawling, but I sure did feel like bawling. Anyway, I got into the exam room, was handed a test, and I glanced through the problems and had a total brain freeze. Total. Brain. Freeze. I had no idea how to answer ANY of the questions. I was expecting a blank citric acid cycle that we’d have to fill in (or something similar) but NO. This was all words.

The second question on the exam (worth 1/3 of the total points) was that the complete oxidation of glucose uses six oxygen molecules, and produces six carbon dioxide molecules as well as thirty ATP molecules. Account for the reactions that produce the CO2, ATP, and use the O2; include the names of all products and reactants, as well as enzymes that catalyze each reaction, and indicate in which part of the cell each reaction occurs.

BLARG.

I literally stared at my test for 10 minutes, and could not write anything down. I debated turning it in blank, and almost did. Fortunately, I forced myself to try, and I overcame my brain freeze quite handily. I started remembering the things that I had studied, and eventually I got most of the questions answered. I think I’ll get high-60s or low-70s on the exam. Considering that I felt really prepared going into the test, and I usually do quite a bit above average, I image that the average will be in the high 40’s or low 50’s. That test was HARD. I’m glad I studied so hard this last weekend. I would have honest-to-God cried if I hadn’t. (And none of us want a repeat of the HL Maths incident, do we?)

So anyway, I’m glad that’s over. I bet I did pretty well, relatively, and that’s all that matters. Crisis averted.

I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, mostly because I started thinking about all of the great things involved with not living in my parents’ house. It’s really quite a fantastic list. I’ll share it with you!

LOCKS. I can lock my bedroom door, and I can lock my bathroom door. If I don’t want anyone in my room, I can lock it. People walking in when I’m taking a shower? Not a problem! I love locking my door at night. I love knowing that I can sleep the whole night through without anyone barging in to wake me up. It’s fantastic.

QUIET. Most people don’t think of the dorms as being a quiet place, but mine are, compared to living with my parents. I am not awakened every (literally) morning by two people in a screaming match. I do not have to play really loud music to do my homework (which drowns out the arguing). I didn’t even realize that it was a habit that I’d gotten into, until Bryan pointed out that most people do not play loud music with words when they are trying to study. I’ve realized that I find it difficult to study without my loud music. Hopefully this will not bother anyone in the future.

PEACE. I do not get in a shouting match every day. In fact, I haven’t had an argument with one person while I’ve been living in the dorms.

COMPLIMENTS. People here think that I am pretty, smart, funny, and nice, and they tell me so. This is much different than being called fat, dumb, passive-aggressive and selfish. I did used to be really really passive-aggressive, but the other three were not true in the slightest. I used to think that they were.

PRIVACY. Along the lines of locks, but somewhat different. I have my own space. My space. I’m not a very object-oriented person, and don’t have a lot of ownership issues, but space is one of those things that I discovered I love having to myself.

PREDICTABILITY. When I come home I know that all of my things will be where I left them, whether or not people will be arbitrarily mad at me (they will not), and whether or not I’ll need to duck out and not spend the night.

If you asked me "Addie, what is the best thing to ever happen to you?" I would tell you that it was moving out of my parents’ house. I wouldn’t even hesitate. Yes, Bryan is amazing and definitely one of the best things to every happen to me (easily second), but the stability and peace that has entered my life upon moving out has changed me the most as a person, and in the best possible way.

I’m really excited for Spring Break to show up. It’s almost here! Bryan and I are tentatively planning a camping trip to Goblin Valley with Bobby and Mark. I hope it pulls through! I wouldn’t want to miss it! I’ve really wanted to go camping for a really really long time, and haven’t had the opportunity in quite a while. Camping is awesome! (We probably wouldn’t go backpacking, though– I don’t think Bryan’s back is up to it. Oh well, we’ll go backpacking some day, for sure.)

I’m going over to Bryan’s parents’ house for dinner tonight. That’s always exciting. I love that they treat me as part of their family. I love it. Love it, love it, love it. It feels so… natural. Oh gosh, I’m tearing up. I cry a fair amount when I think how lucky I am to be a part of their family. They’re one of the most loving, caring group of individuals that I have ever met. They’re all really good friends first, and family units second. I just… I don’t have words to express how much I love them.

And on a less sappy note, Bryan’s parents’ house means that we get to bake! Us getting to bake means cake! Or pie! Or cookies! Or something equally fantastic. Hooray!!

Well, I hope everyone is doing well, and wish you all a fantastic day!<!–