The hardest thing I have to do

It’s 2:56 AM right now and around this time in the next 24 hours I’ll be somewhere above, near the clouds, over the oceans, on an airplane. I’m coming home to the Philippines after almost 6 months of being here in the US. As much as I’ve missed home most of the time I’m here, I actually don’t know whether to be happy or not that I’m finally coming home. It’s hard because my parents and I will be apart again. These past days I can feel and see that my parents are dreading this day. I can’t help but feel pain, like my heart is being crushed literally and cry as I can’t do anything about it. I have to go home after 6 months of staying here and being with them (US Immigration, Tourist Visa stuff). If only my parents are not involved in this situation, no doubt that I’m 100% happy and excited to be coming home. But this involves me getting on that plane, with all the hard goodbyes and tight hugs we wish could stop the time. It really pains me just thinking about it and this is why I’m not looking forward to coming home; The goodbyes are just so hard to take.

I know I’m happy to be coming home because I’ll be seeing every person I’ve missed. But my happiness is overshadowed by the pain of leaving my parents and knowing that they will definitely be sad once I’m gone. This is just temporary as I’ll be coming back to the US again in the next few months. But still, this is really hard to take for us, especially for my father. I’m an only child and my parents have a really hard time to accept the fact that there’s just the 3 of us yet we’re not together, as in I’m not with them. It’s hard for me too but it’s even harder to think about my parents’ feelings about it.

I just hope and pray that my parents will not be sad and that they’re healthy and safe always, especially when I’m not with them. And hours from now, saying goodbye in the airport wouldn’t be as hard and as painful as I know it will be. I just hope we’re strong enough to overcome it.