Everything looks perfect from far away

After awkward conversations and mixed feelings on the subject, the best idea for something as stupidly drawn out as this is to drop it. There it goes, falling away into the basin of unneccesary burdens, goodbye to you! You know the sad thing is that my basin is mostly empty, when it should be quite full. There is so little I really NEED to worry about and other people-in the sense that I waste time and emotional reserves on them when they aaren’t around-are not my problem.

I will still listen when called upon and will still help in any way I can, but draining myself for them only makes me snappish and unhappy. Lots of things are changing right now, not to me but to those around me and I am ready for a change myself. Maybe I will dye my hair? Get my cartilidge repierced? I really want to dye my hair actually.

On other more boring news-if there is such a thing-I am completely bored at work. Nothing here stimulates my brain. But I do enjoy the people, they are supersweet. And this weekend I have the house all to myself so I will be enjoying the much needed solitude to hopefully work on writing. No novel at the moment, just piddling around to get back into the habit of writing. It’s been a year since I wrote with any consistancy as far as fiction goes and I really need the practice to get back up to speed. Everything I’m working on right now is total crap-ola!

Haha, but I’m not bothered…no I WONT be bothered, because I will work at this thing until I am back to my former Glory! Alright of course that’s an over statement but I’m ready for a good solid bout of silliness in my life. Time to fill my time with nonsense until I choke…then from one extreeme to another I’ll find that internal balance.

Also tonight I plan to meditate for fifteen minutes….not much, but it will be well worth it in the long run. Time to practice silencing this furiously turning brain so that I can mellow the fuck back out. Pardon my french.

Oops! Have to do my French homework! Sorry Cookie! I’m soooooo on it! PS- feel better sweetie…now that those pesky wisdom teeths are gone all will be well with the world I’m sure of it. Eat frosty’s…they are the best when you look like a chipmunk. <3 <3 <3

I haven’t been writing either. Since graduation, I’ve written a total of one poem, and it sucks lol. Since I’ve been doing nothing but sitting around while I’ve been cramping, I probably should work on something today. I have been reading a lot though, so I guess that makes it a little okay lol. ryn: Thanks. Grr, I am still irked about those typos, but like I said, they weren’t in my cover

letter or resume, just in one of their little ‘get to know your or something’ questions, so I hope they’ll overlook it. On the rest of it though, I’m pretty confident that I did a good job, and now all I can do is wait…