Random School Day

I can’t tell if im a main character or if im getting divine punishment for procrastinating on my essay. Also my hands are getting really dry today. I feel terrible about not having the motivation to do things. I wish I was as neurotic with grades as my new friend.

Should I talk about my non-existent love life?

-The guy in my politics class: made “friends” with him [friend is in quotes because we only talk after class. Not really outside of that.  So I would not consider us exactly friends] To be honest were really awkward together and i do not see us continuously being friends after this class is over. I’m just saying.. Like we really do struggle to talk. Im even trying to take out my ‘extroverted’ persona, but not even that is working. (did it ever work? haha) I wonder if he is ever thinks: “why is this conversation so cringe?”. I’m probably just exaggerating but that’s how I see it.  Its really just the gaps when we don’t say anything that stresses me, or in any conversation, docent matter who it is. Anyways we haven’t seen each other without our masks and im sure he looks fine without one but I know that im not pleasant to look at without the aid of disguise. Like I don’t look my age, I more so on a person who looks 37 already haha but I can accept it. I just don’t want to be repulsive to anyone who talks to me. So RIP to me when (if he ever) sees me without a mask and sees the hag that i am haha.

Also really really sleepy.  Kinda just want to perish so I don’t have to do anything.

-The guy in my Shakespeare class: I honestly thought we would be friends cause he did talk to me once but I’m actually thinking it’ll never happen. For the first week I wanted it to happen but now I don’t care that much. He’s smart though, he carried our group in doing a good thesis statement.  I also don’t know how he looks like without a mask but I can tell he’s generally attractive.  This is all I have to say cause we don’t interact lmao

In reference to the friend who’s neurotic about grades. Met her in my Shakespeare class. I’m happy we have things in common and are able to have a long conversation.  We even both like EXO :”)). So happy about that but sad that she doesn’t like them as much as me which holds me back to really talking about their current music and new content they have.

I spent a good 40 minutes writing this….. my procrastination never seizes to amaze me.

[songs that I listened to as I wrote this:

I’m not okay-Chen/ Everytime-Chen,Punch/U-Baekhyun/ Luhan-Nature/Is it me?- Baekhyun/ Is it me?(Inst.)-Baekhyun/Love Again-Baekhyun/ Underwater-Baekhyun ]

-bye