I Feel Stuck in Time

Have you been in a situation where you have to let go of someone out of your own will?

It’s been exactly 17 days since I cut off someone important to me and it still feels like day 1. I’ve met him in an online dating app more than a month ago and I can say that we got along really well. I spent a month talking to him, sharing every details of my day. I grew attached to him and my day feels empty without his messages.

The relationship I had with him felt surreal. 

He showered me with a lot of attention. He showed me he can be vulnerable around me. He always asks for my opinion on things and always consider them when making decisions.

But just like any other normal relationship, we had a fair share of misunderstandings. We normally resolve them but this time was different. I felt disrespected and unvalued, almost making me question my worth as a woman. I liked him.. or maybe more than that.. but I decided to choose my sanity. I know I made the right decision by choosing myself but I can’t help but question if I really did.

Why does it hurt? Why do I miss him? 

Does he miss me too? Does he think of me too? 

I feel like I am stuck on this constant loophole whether I made the right decision.. if I should reach out to him and apologize.. ask for us to get back together. I am lost and I don’t know what to do. One thing is for sure, I want this feeling to go away.