deadbeats

There is no book on how to deal with them.My friend says that’s a million dollar idea. lol.

My kids “Dad” hasn’t been around in over 5 years, and my kids are 5 & 6. They are starting to ask questions and I’m really struggling with how to answer them.

They asked what his name is, and for whatever reason my heart jerks, I am taken back and for whatever reason I dont’ want to tell them.

My son assumed he was dead for years. Awhile ago my daughter asked questions about her donor and my son was like “our Dad is dead,”
and I asked why he thought that and my son just said “he’s not here”. I was livid with their donor. livid.

I’ve told my kids that he makes unsafe choices, and that’s why he’s not here. I feel like that’s better than saying “Cause he shoves stupid amounts of cocaine up his nose”

I forgive S.D (sperm donor/his actual initials are SD) for the abusive marriage we were in. I forgive him for things that happened when we were married. Now that the kids are older, I’m getting angry at him for the present.

I mean it’s fantastic having him out of their lives. I have no drama, kids have a wonderful home, routine, no going back and forth, everything is my way, it’s great. I just get so angry that my kids are fatherless.

While they have this great home and wonderful people around them, they obviously know that something isn’t quite right.

Anyway I start counseling on Monday for this. I don’t know how to deal with having a dead beat, no one really does. My biggest concern is the anger I’m feeling. I’m so mad that he’s such a loser, and that my kids don’t have a Dad because he sucks. I don’t want to take it out on my kids, or have it effect my answers to their questions. I need to deal with it so that when their random questions come up I’m prepared.

The question I hate the most is “Why do you have a Dad and I don’t” It just breaks my heart.

I know I have great kids, and I know they’re better off with the way life is now.  I just want to damage them as little as possible. 😉