You’re My Answer To The Question Why.

My Dearest Friend, 

I’m oddly afraid to talk to you about this…it’s been a while since that happened, hasn’t it? I just…I want to tell you about how much you mean to me, but for some reason I just can’t find the words that I want to use. I wish that I could just show you, but I don’t know how. I want you to know that you mean so much more to me than you will ever see. I really care about you, a lot. More than that, You are one of my closest friends. It’s so easy for me to talk to you. Sometimes it makes me feel like I can’t shut up…and that I talk too much about me…but it feels so good to be telling SOMEONE all of these things. I’m glad I picked you. I feel like If I had chosen anyone else they would have left me by now..though you chose me in a way. Hmm. I want to show you what you mean to me, and I want you to be able to see into my brain. I don’t know why. I feel oddly like even if you saw every thought I’ve ever had, you would stick by me. That’s really…not something I saw coming. I like talking to you all the time…it makes me feel wanted. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel secure. Like I could say anything and it wouldn’t matter, because you aren’t going to tell anyone. At the same time, I never know if I strike nerves, or if it bothers you at all. In such a short time you’ve become one of the most important people to me. Did you know that? I’d hope so, but I doubt it. I don’t like it when you aren’t near. I feel like everything is a little easier to deal with and a little bit more calm when you are closer. I would really appreciate it if you would stick close by me. That makes me feel selfish, though. I never figured out why, but wanting to keep you close makes me feel like I’m being selfish. I hope that I’m not but I guess I don’t really know.  I feel like in a way we are bound by fate. Is that weird? Probably -__-" Either way.. I feel like there was a reason we were thrown together. You know? I sometimes find myself just wondering why all of this happened the way it did. If that one conversation on facebook had never happened, we would have never been so close, so it makes me wonder just why that is. Hmm. I feel like most of this big paragraph is pointless because I feel like you already know most of it, but I need to get it out of my head sometimes. I don’t know if you noticed this or not, But I tend to look for you in school, and I’m always close. I don’t want to bother you or anything like that, but I like it better when you are closer. I kind of feel really clingy, too, just so you are fully aware. You know, I don’t know how to think about you, I’ve never had a friendship quite like this one. Hmm. And another thing…the songs that we listen to/talk about/that one playlist. They aren’t just songs to me anymore. If they were just songs they wouldn’t mean anything to me. Every time I hear This World Can’t Tear Us Apart, In my mind, or any of the other songs that you are probably thinking about right now [my playlist.] I think of you. When I say one of the lyrics, or anything like that, I think of you. Some of them I only associate with you [For example: You’ll be there in my mind, standing just to my right, telling me everything’s gonna be alright if I could just fall asleep tonight], or I direct them towards you. I don’t know if I can explain it any better than that, but I’d make you understand if I could. I want you to know these things, but at the same time I feel like they are obvious. I wonder. I still don’t understand what makes me fear telling you this directly. Maybe it’s just the way my mind operates. Also, I hope you are one of the people I’m still friends with in ten years. There is so much more that I could say but I just don’t know what to say. I feel like it would be slightly easier if I could know how you react to the things that I tell you. Just sayin. <–Kidding about that last part.  There’s part of me that feel like this entire entry is pointless because I feel like you know all of this already, but I just wanted to reiterate. And to sum up the above novel, I care about you a lot more than I know how to tell you, and I don’t know how to tell you because I don’t know how to feel about you, and I don’t know how to feel about you because i’ve never had a friendship quite like this one. I don’t know how else to explain this so I should probably stop before this becomes too rambly. 

Goodnight, My dear. 

And thank you for reading.

Until next time,

~♥EmieLove♥~