Two Posts Tonight, An Update And A Letter [Letter]
My Dearest One,
I don’t think that I will ever be able to talk to you about this. This is possibly the biggest secret I will ever have. It is also the most important secret in my heart. I want to tell you so badly but there is no way that I can. I can not describe to you how bad I feel for keeping this secret from you, but this is the best way, it always has been. I cannot say whether or not you will ever read this letter, because I really don’t know if you will ever find it or not. If you do find it, though, I do not even know if you will know that it is about you. I would like to think you know already, or at the very least, you understand. I wonder what you will think of me if you ever read this. I doubt you will think a thing. You probably won’t even read it. Even if I showed it to you myself it wouldn’t phase you. I NEED YOU TO KNOW. I cannot tell you though.
I realized something a few nights ago. I would do anything for you. When I say anything I mean that I would give you a kidney if you needed one, no questions asked. I would walk a mile in the pouring rain at 2:30 in the morning to see you because you were lonely, hell, I would walk a thousand miles. I would jump in front of a bullet for you. I would die if it meant you could live. If you ever randomly disappeared, I would NEVER give up looking for you, even if it took the rest of my life. I would do all of the little things, too. I would cook you dinner. I would just lay with you because you were feeling clingy. I would do absolutely anything for you. I would leave your life for good if it meant you would be happy forever. That’s the biggest thing I have ever said. I would willingly let you go if it meant you could be happy forever. That is one big step for me.
I don’t know if you have caught on or not, but what I am trying to say is that I am in love with you. I don’t just love you. I love everything about you. I feel an emotional connection with you unlike any other. I have never wanted to spend my life with someone quite as much as I do with you. I want to be your everything. I never want to let go of you for any reason. I want to spend all of my time with you. I want to be yours. I love you. I love everything that you do. I love the way that you smile. I love the way that you walk. I love your facial expressions. I love your room. I love the way we are when we are together. I love your pets. I love your smile. I love the way that you dance when you feel just right. I love when we have days together. I love when we are together at all. I love when you wrap your arms around me and hug me like you will never see me again. I love it when you make dinner for me even at 2 in the morning. I love all the things we do together. We do everything and nothing together all at the same time. It doesn’t even matter what we are doing. As long as I am with you I am happy. I wouldn’t love anything more than being with you for a while. I just want to spend some more time with you, this is so important to me. you have no idea. I am in love with you, and you will never know it. I love you so much that if you choose to walk away from me I will never stop loving you. I want you to know how truly loved you are. You have stuck by me through everything. This is so weird to think about, really. I just realized that this love is true. There is not a single thing I wouldn’t do for you. I want you to trust me like I trust you. I want us to go away together for a little while, just you and me, like we planned. I love when we fall asleep together. I love when we watch movies. I love when we spend hours and hours talking about everything. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. PERIOD. I always have and I always will.
This is my soul laying out on the floor for you to read. I know that it doesn’t sound like much right now, but I will write a longer letter later. I just need sleep right now. I need to breathe. I need to think.
Forever and Always, My love.
~♥EmieLove♥~