On Broken Wings I’m Falling.

 My Dearest Readers, 

I’ve been working on a really long entry that leads you from October until now but I haven’t finished typing it out yet. That’s not what I came here to tell you, though.

I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind I guess. 

I’m happier now that I’ve ever been with my life. I’ve got true friends that would do anything for me, I have a family that loves me and would defend me to the death (figuratively of course), I have a boyfriend that truly cares about me, I have a roof over my head, I have food and water, I am going to school so that I may one day make something of myself…Yet… I can’t help but hurt sometimes. 

I’ve been having a rough few days, I suppose. I have no real reason for this. I’ve been thinking a lot about when and how I grew up. I guess the truth is, I love the way things are now, but I can’t help but look back at how things were. I miss my dad. I really do. It’s taking just about every thing out of me to admit that, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I really miss him. I miss the house I lived in until I was 11. Those were simpler times.  If I was having a bad day I could just go lay down and watch T.V. or I could go outside and hide in my favorite tree, or I could just look to my toys. I was a happy child most of the time, I think. I remember a lot of bad times but I had even more good times. I miss the days where me staying up all night was something out of the ordinary. I miss the days when my mom would yell at me for being up all night even if I was only up because I couldn’t sleep, even then.  I miss who I was back then. So carefree, so innocent. I was a child masked by the bliss of ignorance. I didn’t know what the world was like, I didn’t even know there were problems in my family. 

The truth is…I’m afraid that if I don’t keep remembering times like that, I will forget them. I feel like I’ll forget when we were all one happy family, together. I wonder if anyone else knows this..Humm. 

I’ve been thinking far far too much you could say. What about? I’m not sure. 

I just want to have a comfort-food and cookie dough lay on the couch and watch movies all day with the occasional nap and laziness kind of day. I feel like if I could have one day like that I would be able to kick this sad-filled rut that I’ve gotten myself in to.

Anyone wanna come gushy-girly day with me? No? That’s okay.

I should be happy right now, but some how I just can’t be. There’s far far too much on my mind. 

On a side note..I haven’t really been talking to anyone about this, I guess that’s because I feel like it is pointless and that no one should have to deal with me being depressed just because I can’t figure out how to keep myself happy. I’m not pulling the woe-is-me card right now, just so you know. I’m just not in a good mood…I have more to write about tonight. Maybe I’ll post the October-Now update, We’ll see. That’s all for now, readers! I love you! 

~♥EmieLove♥~

I wonder if you’ll see this. 😉 It’s left here just for you.