lots to talk about

There’s so much going on with me now, where do i begin..

I started student teaching a few weeks ago..so basically I have no life anymore haha. We actually just had a week break last week, so that was nice, and I’ve been really sick the past 2 days..so i’ve been away from it for..a little over a week. I’m really hoping to get back in tomorrow..I only get 3 sick days for the whole semester, and I had to use 2 already  I was trying really hard not to get sick, and go figure, I catch something when i’m on break, away from the little germ factories.  My tonsils were huge..gross..couldn’t really swallow. That was most of it. I’ve got a stuffy head now, but my throat is much better..so back to school I go. I think it’s a little nuts that they only give us 3 sick days..if you miss more than 3 you have to make up the time. Not that I plan on missing a lot, but at least give us like.. 5..people get sick..really sick sometimes, and me going back in when i’m not really better isn’t a good idea..i’m only hurting myself and probably infecting other people.  anyway… more about teaching..

I’m teaching in a middle school for my entire placement, 7-8th grade band. In some ways I got lucky, I have one placement, so I don’t have to get used to 2 groups of kids/teachers, I didn’t get stuck doing anything like general music. There are things I don’t like about the placement, but I’ll keep those to myself. The program is pretty good, and the kids are really great. No real discipline problems, my cooperating teacher keeps them pretty well in line. However..the more I get in to this, the more clear it becomes that this isn’t what I really want to do. I didn’t think it would be from the beginning..but I wasn’t about to drop out of music ed. after 4 years. I also got my degree in clarinet performance, and after student teaching i’ll have my degree in music ed. I just think I want to pursue playing, and teaching at a college level rather than becoming a band teacher. I really feel like it would suit my personality better..and I would be much happier..I love playing clarinet..I like teaching clarinet..I know a lot about clarinet..I want to specialize in clarinet. My Ideal situation would be to get a symphony job and teach in a college. I know I have the potential to do that, I just also know it’s going to be a lot of work, more school, my masters and doctorate eventually. I’m okay with that. There’s just so much about being a band teacher that doesn’t involve music at all. Classroom management, the administrative side of things, the paperwork..blah.. that and the fact that…I’d rather be an expert on one instrument, than be mediocre at teaching 10 instruments. It’s overwhelming..there’s so much to know..stressful..

On a brighter note..I’ve been dating a guy named Joe for the past 5 months, and I’m convinced, he is the greatest boyfriend ever. Everything is just so easy. I think we’ve talked about every possible concern you could ever have about having a future with someone, and it just all fits. He’s really cute, very sweet, we are in text contact all day, we haven’t had a fight yet… I know it hasn’t been thaaat long, but with him, I just don’t see conflicts and arguments being an issue. We are both easy going, and don’t fight over stupid little things. It’s hard to describe. We are both on the same page about..everything. It seems too good to be true. He’s always thinking of me first. I just feel very wanted, and loved. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend. For christmas I got a necklace from Tiffany’s, a web camera (explain that in a minute) my favorite chocolate, and other stocking stuffers. For Valentines day I got a huge bouquet of flowers in a nice vase, a potted orchid, a giant hollow chocolate heart with more chocolates inside it, and chocolate roses. The orchid he bought me because he said the other flowers will die soon, and he wanted me to have something that will last.  I’m spoiled..that’s for sure. Now..the web camera..the only downside to this relationship..is that it is long distance …for now. He is originally from Rochester, but now lives on Long Island, he teaches middle school band out there. Long story short, he used to go to Fredonia too, thats kind of how I met him. So anyway..the cameras..he bought us webcams so we can video instead of doing phone all the time. I say we’re long distance "for now" because I am going to be moving down there in the fall. Is it weird that this relationship is the best relationship i’ve ever had despite the distance..? I’ve been seeing him every few weeks though pretty much, give or take a week here and there. He obviously has family here, in Rochester, so he comes home when he can and I go stay with him in Rochester. I’ve made the trip out to Long Island a couple times too. It’s still a little surreal, but I thank God for him..often..because I was starting to believe there was no one out there who was everything I was looking for. I can’t wait until the fall.

Moving to Long Island.. I am going to be moving down there in the fall. I auditioned at a grad school down there, SUNY Stony Brook. It’s the only school I auditioned at. I originally planned on auditioning at a couple other schools like Manhattan School of Music, and Hartt School of Music because of a certain teacher I’d like to study with. But then, I found out this same teacher teaches at Stony Brook, which costs waaaaayyy less money. The school is about 15 min from where Joe lives, and I’d be getting the teacher I wanted. (again..this whole thing about how things with him just are fitting together so well) I haven’t heard whether or not I got in to Stony Brook yet, I should be hearing in mid march. If I don’t get in, I’m still going to move down there, and just look for a teaching job. I’m really praying I get in though…

::yaaawnn:: I better get my sick self to bed soon so I can get back to school tomorrow..yay….