a lot to take in

Today was the last day of my practicum at the middle school. Ive been wanting to write about it along the way, but i decided to just make one entry at the end. I know i wrote about working with the band the other day..

Yesterday while everyone else had band, i took the clarinets and had a sectional thing with them. I actually had fun working with them. It was easier than working with the whole band, naturally..cause i know clarinet stuff..and..im not completely confident working a whole band yet. So i worked with them on tuning, embouchures, reeds, exciting stuff like that. We went through their band music a bit and i tried to tune things up a bit. Explained to them how they can change the pitch, like tune it just using their mouths. They all went out after and told the their teacher how much fun it was. awwww..that made me feel good haha.

I also learned yesterday that i was the apple of a good portion of the boys eyes….oh god… Particularly the trumpets, the girls in the flutes and clarinets tattled on them. Its like..i feel bad, but in a funny kind of way, cause now i know what it felt like to all the poor band teachers// student teachers//substitute teachers (“hotttttttttt, and fiiiiiiiiiine” haha)that all the girls had crushes on when i was in school :~D ohh the memories of middle school, mal knows what i mean haha.

As i went through this week, it was weird. Like walking into a completely different world. Ive gotten used to music by fredonias standards. The practicing, the effort, the stress, the feeling like “omg i HAVE to pass these classes” when in actuality i wont ever use a lot of it when i get a real teaching job. I swear fredonias music program just sort of sucks you in and makes you forget that there IS in fact, musical life outside of fredonia.

The difference in level of ability in these kids is ridiculous. You have some that are really good, and can comprehend when you tell them things, and then theres some that they just give u this blank stare..like “uhhhhhhhhhh” Im slowly starting to understand the frustrations of teaching.

My next practicum, while it was nice to do one with a familiar teacher, i need to go outside of NT. The music program here is slowly dying, and has been for quite some time. Theres just no motivation in the kids. Some have it, but a lot of them just dont care. And thats frustrating, i dont know if i could teach somewhere where the kids just dont care. I would feel useless. In other areas, school districts where the music programs are highly thought of, its completely different. Because when the kids know that someone cares about them, and what theyre doing, they want to succeed. Around here, music is always the first thing to go when theres budget cuts, as im sure it is in a lot of places, and its sad.

over all i think it was a good first experience. Its completely different being on the other side of a band. (teacher side vs. student side) I know i have things to work on, mainly trying to come out of my shell..i dont know how im going to do it, but i dont want to give up.