In the dark

There is a large part of me that wants to stop taking my meds for the anxiety and depression. Before I did, I could sink into darkness and not remember what was happening around me. I want that again… to not be aware of my failures and responsibilities. I screwed up a lot back then but if I am still doing it, then what is the point sometimes? The BPD is stronger than I am sometimes. It makes me want to disassociate and takes away all of my hope.

I have a daughter. I can’t. I am not even holding on for my husband any longer. I just have to get her through life with strength and confidence. She deserves a great life.