For a night, I was a goddess

I have tried a lot of traditional therapy. I like group better than individual. I bottle things up and have never been into spilling my guts in the office. When I have, I did get sent to a class or outpatient where I did get deep. I loved it.

Since then, I just haven’t enjoyed therapy. I don’t feel like they want me there most of the time.

I got into other stuff through group therapy. Meditation, a bit of Buddhism, and that sort of thing. I liked it. I have a salt lamp in my room and a dish full of crystals that I always forget about. I have taken classes to dig deeper into my mind. That suits me. I haven’t really married anything specific but meeting my client changed things for me. I like strong people that go through hell and come out fighting. She is one of those people and introduced me to a group online who offered what they called a goddess circle.

I will never be comfortable in a crowd, particularly when it is women. All I had to do here was introduce myself and then say something at the end. I probably sounded awkward but it didn’t matter there. I took my sister to have a familiar face but I held back because of that. I love my sister and she’s my family. I am  just not the one to break down and yell or even cry. I felt a lot in that room though. We meditated and I think it was the most that I’ve ever gotten into it. The room was dark and lit only with candles as we were guided through it. I have never appreciated being an empath like I did last night. There were some strong emotions but the best thing is that they were being released. There were drums and chanting and healers walking around. They scared me when they approached but I relaxed and let them do their thing. I wanted to ask what they saw or felt but refrained when I said goodbye.

I was reflective of it last night and exhausted today. I guess it is draining to release stuff and ground yourself. I was also busy at work testing new software and that was chaotic. I am just writing some now and relaxing since the kid is at her cousin’s for the night at a sleepover. We have a party for the three-year-old cousin tomorrow and she loves my daughter.

Did I mention getting another car? Mine was pushing 242K miles and needed more little things than I could do right now. My mom has a friend that was selling a 2001 Honda and she wanted to buy it for me. It is in amazing shape and drives like a dream. It’s just boring. My daughter even said that it doesn’t suit me. I am a bold mother in her words. I like bright red hair and colors and makeup. I have the maturity of a teenager, in both good ways and bad. So the car is so average but it will take me on trips and be around for years to come. My nephew wrecked his car and since he doesn’t commute the way that I do, I gave him my old SUV. He can out money into it here and there and it was the most perfect timing. I think that is how the universe works.