The End of All Things

Ok. Do what you think you should do. I said ok. I told him it was ok. It's happening now not because I couldn't stop it but because I finally said fine, just do it, I hate this and it's bullshit and we all know it, but I am so sick of dealing with it,…

Imhotep climbed into my lap for no apparent reason. He didn't want to be petted or fed. Maybe he loves me. Imhotep saved my life. I couldn't have made it through the months after Peter left me without him.  

All three kitties are back under one roof. I've been in my new apartment for a week or so, and I only had Imhotep with me for company. I didn't want to haul them all over because: (1) the management thinks I only have two cats; and (2) the management was still doing work in…

I am seized with the desire to develop the coordination to perform the Moonwalk. I might Moonwalk out of every grocrey store. I might Moonwalk away from every person who irritates me. Only... I do not seem to have the abiilty to Moonwalk, despite numerous Internet videos which puport to try to te...

The weirdest things give me that strange heart-jerk which immediately precedes associating something with Peter. Conservative Judaism. We lived in Squirrel Hill, which is heavily Jewish. Peter was the shabbos goy for our next door neighbors. I'm in the process of trying to reclaim something from ...

Nescio quid. I don't know what that means. I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't know why I'm doing whatever it is I don't know I'm doing. I definitely don't know what I should be doing, and I don't know how to find out, so I don't know for certain that I'm not…

This is the letter I sent to Peter on my birthday, about three months ago. (Sasha is Peter's brother.)   Dear Peter, This letter is addressed to you, but I'm not really sure who I'm writing to. I say that for a few reasons. I'm almost positive that I don't know who you are right…

Continued from previous.   When you left, you said you still loved me. I didn't understand how you could love me and still leave; I still don't. I think maybe you said it to be kind, because that's more like you. But after that first day of weeping while you and your family moved your…

This is what Peter sent in reply to my letter to him, prompting my lawyer to write a badass letter to Peter's lawyer about harassment. As a result, this is the last written contact I've had with him. These are a lot of things that I've been meaning to say for the last decade. You…