Family/Life – Open Diary

a knock on the door of life…

anightwithoutstars

October 21, 2003

For the most part I've never really liked my birthday. For the longest time I used my birthday to wish that I would get a horse. That was the only thing on my mind for years. The want of a horse. My family was the type of family to celebrate birthdays with a birthday cake…

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7

Change.

anightwithoutstars

October 5, 2003

I miss the happy place that I used to go to when I taught. Sometimes when a student gets something there's an adrenalin rush of sorts. Things click for the student and it's like I feed off of that. Even when some students are bored, that's enough to make me energized to prove to them…

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8

blood.

anightwithoutstars

September 19, 2003

Earlier today I accidently rubbed one of my fingers against a harsh surface and just the slightest bit of skin left my finger. But it hurt. And I didn't want to look at it.Later, I accidently cut myself. I watched the cut start to slowly drip blood. And I squeezed it so it would bleed…

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7

Miss Contradiction.

anightwithoutstars

July 18, 2003

I feel very much lost.Looking around this room, I see boxes and clothing and computer items and a duffel bag and books...just scattered. I walk into the garage and see every article I own cluttered throughout.List of things to do...1. Organize this room.2. Go through countless numbers of boxes an...

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7

introspection…

anightwithoutstars

July 12, 2003

"It's not about the words."Hundreds of words.Slipping. Through his hands.Onto her lap. One catching on the tip of a finger, brushed along a skirt cascading around her ankles.N.O.Not there. He gave them to her as..."When I propose, I will scatter rose petals, hundreds of them..." he watched her ca...

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1

broken glass…

anightwithoutstars

June 20, 2003

It's you I'm talking to, and memories are still talking to me about you. You're everywhere in me, in my life, in the air I breathe, in the cherry tree in the garden, in my belly. It's you, my love. I'm talking to. It's God I talk to when I pray. I always pray. Without…

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1

dream…

anightwithoutstars

June 17, 2003

I had horrible dream last night.I went back to visit at the school where I was working during the 2001-2002 school year. I walked down the same hall and came upon the teacher who had the room next to mine. We talked for a bit."Why didn't you tell anyone how horrible the English dept. head…

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1

slowly.

anightwithoutstars

June 17, 2003

I feel like writing!Then I thought...no, I should wait until later. But I'm afraid that the urge to write will leave me. So thus I write.The rest of my family is over at my grandparents' house visiting. I decided not to go. I go over almost every day anyway to ride. Plus I don't like…

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1

Entry 1

anightwithoutstars

June 16, 2003

My diary is expired but it still is letting me write an entry. Weird. But good I suppose. Because I feel like I need to write. I feel lost. I spent last weekend by in Maryland. Rich told me to write about it. The only thing that stands out in my mind is the ocean.…

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2

…and again.

anightwithoutstars

May 20, 2003

The little yellow box appeared on my diary again. I guess that means I only have 22 days left. Big deal, right? I don't write in here anymore anyway. What should it matter...I found an old entry actually. I was looking for a disk to save one of my school things to and came upon…

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2

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