Chapter 4 : The Single Life

    SO... I'm back home at Mums. I guess it's not too bad. I'm in no rush to get a place of my own now. After all why would I? I only have to pay a fraction of the overall expenses. Action Man and I are kind of in a relationship, which is odd…

  Things have been chaotic, manic, upsetting, devestating, heartbreaking , soul destroying, We all now that I got made redundant? Yes, we do, or we do now. We all know that I went back to bar tending? Yes we do. I loved that job. But I have left it. They didn't give me ANY welfare, so I'm&he...

        Dear Elle, I'm glad you've stopped playing the victim card over our break up. I'm also glad you've given me space. I don't regret how I left, I just wish it could have been different. Sometimes I miss you, although I'd never tell you that. Sometimes when we talk I see&...

    I don't know what's up with me, I'm seeing Spike tomorrow. I should be psyched, but all I can think about is the whole TARBA thing. I'm going to take it to court. I'm also going to speak to the Tax people about it. I also need to find my Contract from there. My attention’s always so...

    So, I haven't felt like I've really had anything within me of substance to write about. Tonight that changes. I've just had another moment of realisation. The S/H, the S/I, the S/M, the EDs, and everything else, I know why I do it. I do it because I hate myself. Truly I do.…

  So did I mention that Spike came to see me at work on Friday night? He did. He kissed me. Three times he kissed me. I kissed him back. I don't have the same feelings as before. Which is good. He's coming to see me tomorrow night. He's told Jerry that he'll be at the…

    So Spike came to my work tonight. I was on the door anyways. We let him in for free. Officially because he's a bouncer. We talked and drank and danced. After I'd finished my shift. And then we sat in the beer garden for a cigarette and then he kissed me. It was soft…

      So....do we all remember way back in the days of Kel, and the early Elle era?? Do we all remember when I work at M's?? There was a slight omission from me at the time... There was a guy who worked the door...one of the bouncers... We shall call him Spike. Spike…

  So he cancelled the date because he double booked me...what the fuck ever...tough tits for him because as JLS say "You only get one shot, so make it count." BUT the most goooooorgeous black guy came into work last night, he was so beautiful I could weep...and he had a sweet ass. He slipped...

  So, Marco is out... Nobody stands me up and gets a second chance, those days are over. Now there is Chocolate Chunk, now to be known as CC. He's gorgeous. Moving on. I was telling myate about my poor choice of men thus far and she deducted this: "You're going to wither be pregnant or…