6 High School: 11/04 - 05/06

I was sitting there looking out the window, and you know how if you look out the window, you can see what's outside (duh)...but if you look a little differently, you can see the reflection of what's inside? I don't know, it just made me think of people, and how it's so easy to just…

...and when I remembered, it didn't shock me; it didn't seem as horrifying as I would assume it should have.

If you ever think I'm not trying - just check to see if my heart is still beating, and if it is, then you can rest assured that I sure as hell am doing all the trying I fucking can. Because most days, just staying alive takes most all they trying I have.

I would sit here and write something really depressing...but no one wants to hear about it, and I don't want to talk about it. So I won't.

You can tell how I feel about life by looking at my room: if it's clean, I'm in control...& if it's messy, well, I'm clearly not okay.

I don't get it. Who defines what's right and wrong. Why is the death penalty okay, but suicide isn't? Am I not just as capable of judging myself as a judge is of judging a felon? I don't fucking get it.

Let's put it this way - I only have 2 emotions: anger, and suicidalness...and at the moment, I'm not all that angry.

Cold weather makes me depressed. Of course, so do other things.

"Be it true or false, what is said about men often has as much influence upon their lives, and especially upon their destinies, as what they do." -Victor Hugo : Les Miserables

I'm so tired of hearing excuses for everyone else, how they are going through "such a hard time" right now. Fuck you, you want to talk about hard times?