2012

 Again, bullets, faster and helps me think I think. Luke and I got into another fight.  I called off the sex, but that's not what started the fight.  He keeps wanting me to "be the person I fell in love with again" like it's something I can control.  I finally shot b...

Vacations screw with your internal clock.  I keep forgetting what day of the week it is in relation to my schedule (ie, dr appointments, paychecks, bills due).  Like I totally didn't realize I get paid this coming Friday, I kept thinking I had to wait another 2 weeks for some reason. I ...

I'm still here, still...coping I guess. I don't know what I'm doing half of the time from one day to the next.  I just try my best to keep my head above water and pretend that I'm doing okay.  I'm still slowing leaking blood from my broken heart.  But that's the problem with a hear...

 I don't know if anyone else does this but the more upset I get the more I isolate myself but the weird thing is that I do it in this way that no one notices because I become more 'visibly' outgoing.  I spend more time out with friends but I don't really interact with them,…

My grandfather is dying.  The person in the world who means the most to me is on the path to the end and we all know it.  Only 2 of us have admitted it.  Me and my aunt.  We talked about it last night.  It's the beginning of the end for him.  He's dying.  I…

I'm not moving with Luke. I don't even know if Luke and I are going to be dating for much longer. Fuck.  I don't know if we're still dating now. After several huge fights, partly due to my anxiety, partly due to his pulling away (gotta love the repetitive pattern in guy behavior, at least&he...

A quick blurb before  Luke gets home from work. Work is going well.  We've hired some new girls but one of the girls is looking to move and all kinds of other stuff is going on so yeah.  I'm looking for another job.  Just casually right now.  Still studying for my nationa...

To start, yes, I said boyfriend in my last entry.   Yeah, Luke, that guy I mentioned waaaaay back in January.  Well, we've officially been together a little less than 4 months.  But he got kicked out of his place due to some personality clashes and now he's living here with us. &nb...

 Just a quick blurb to let people know that I'm still alive.  One here knows that I am because she's talked to me.  Not much going on around these parts.  Lots of working, lots of stressing out about money.  Luke is good, we're good. Life is moving along faster than I rea...

Recently a gentleman (and I use the term loosely) wrote a blog that received quite of bit of attention, good and bad.  Bad grammar aside (i.e.; the word lessor used incorrectly) from a man who claims to want to be an author, it was a very interesting read.  To summarize; he declared ope...