2009

i really still have nothing to write about. Pittsburgh Opera is doing a big New Year's Eve party and we're singing with full orchestra tonight.  its going to be okay.  the nice part is its getting recorded.  hopefully i'll be able to get a copy and i'll have something new to show y...

i don't actually have anything to say at the moment.  things seem to be going okay for the moment. i'm on 3 anti-depressants right now.  only been taking them a day so i know i haven't felt any of the effects yet.  probably won't for at least a month.  it makes me hurt to know...

well, i'm home again.  sitting here in my apartment all by myself.  i'm so tired of being alone all the time. i hate my life.

i wrote this while in the detroit airport this morning... Airports and Bach As I sit in this foreign, yet local terminal... Wheeled luggage clattering across the tiled floor, people clamoring above the din of assistance carts whizzing by and announcements calling overhead. The cacophony of sound ...

just thought i'd come by and wish you all a happy holidays.  i'm too drained to type much more.  i leave tonight to go home, so maybe i'll write more when i get back to pittsburgh tomorrow morning. much love to you all. - noah

well... i finally finished it.  its not fully put together, and the recording is crap.  i just wanted to put it up before i left for Seattle. the last part without words is the bridge.  i don't have words for it yet, and i'm not sure how to fit it in to the rest of…

yesterday calla told me she didn't love me.  she cared for me, but she didn't love me and couldn't be with me because of that. so what did i do?  what i do everytime i hurt... i hurt others. i texted her best friend (who i texted 2 months ago to see if it would…

i'm not dealing with all this very well.  a couple of my favorites are trying to help me, and all i'm doing is making them feel helpless.  i don't know how to let them help me. i just don't want to be sitting in this room all by myself anymore.  i wish i had one…

she said no.

i think i'm going to disappear for awhile.  i need to give her space and being here isn't helping me.  thank you for all your notes.  i'll be back i'm sure.  just want to disappear for awhile. - noah