Who’ll Stop the Rain?

Am I just too arrogant not to understand the depression of others? Am I a jackass when I can’t relate to why people are upset over seemingly (to me) trivial issues? Maybe I’m not as sympathetic as I need to be? Perhaps I get angry because I can’t relate…and it gets under my skin and crawls to my brain and dies.

And I cry.

Am I a horrible person, because I thought…for even an instant, that maybe it wasn’t tollerable, because I just don’t understand?

Is it because I’m naive, or just ignorant?

I think I was depressed in high school because I was a teenager, and it was more or less expected. Every teenager leads an amazingly emotional life (to them). And at the time, I didn’t think that anyone could ever understand what I was going through, that no one else in the world had ever felt that way before.

Is that what you’re feeling now that I just don’t understand?

Is it wrong of me to hurt so much inside because I feel I can’t do a damn thing to help…?? When inside I’m screaming at you…because I think your feelings have no merit…and then kick myself for EVER thinking that.

‘Never apologize for your feelings’

I’m so sorry, that I just don’t understand, and no amount of rambling will ever explain it…explain why my blood boils because you can’t live without chaos. And there’s always something…always. And how much it hurts me to know that this will hurt you in someway, although it was never my intent…ever…ever. Is the fact that my glasses are rose colored, and yours are blue, going to end in disaster?

A million words can never express how much I do love you, and how much it hurts me to see you that depressed…and I’m sorry that when I express that hurt to you, it comes out sounding angry. I am on your side. I support you 100%.

Am I just a weird freak, that most of my days I spend in a positive light? I awake with a smile on my face, and I mean it? I tell myself it will be a good day…and even if it turns out to be bad, I let it go, not letting it fester. Am I of the few? The minority? A statistic?

By reading random entries on OD, I’d have to say yes. This site should be called ‘Tales of Depression’.

But in the end it’s about me, because I know I just don’t understand. Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if we could trade places for a day? I just want to know…to understand…to sympathize…to comprehend.

But I’m afraid I never will.

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April 13, 2002

I too often get angry at what I deem small, trivial problems for others seem to be blown way out of proportion. I also know that sometimes I am the one doing the exact same thing. I see it as whining usually in most cases. And you are right, don’t apologize for your feelings. BTW, I got lost reading your note to me. IM me soon; I miss that. Take care.

Heh, that’s something I was thinking about yesterday while driving, that few people could honestly say that nothing is causing them great deals of stress. One could blame the age demo of FOD (16-17ish) but it’s really age-spanning… I dunno, life could potentially suck… and people move too fast often to take things into account or into place… all ya can do is try and be happy…

PS: All State Insurance has freakishly decent rates…

Sometimes I don’t understand what a person feels…but I just let my mind “know” that this person is hurting …..sometimes we will only understand the depth of the pain if we walk, if only for a minute, in their shoes….

April 13, 2002

saying you’re sorry can mean many things… i always wondered how pink managed after shaving it all

I think it is a basic human want, and to some extent a need, to want to understand someones pain or depression. Don’t be hard on yourself, not everyone can feel everyone’s feelings, that would be freakishly wierd. PS I often shave my legs when I cant manage, I often think of pink while doing it.

Ya don’t say..

April 13, 2002

you’re trying…sometimes that’s the most we can offer… you’ll find the path you seek, lil’ one…*smiles and tousles your hair*

April 14, 2002

“if you’re the queen of California, then I am the rain king…” to all those who never experinced it, shut up, you have no idea just what the hell you’re talking about. But, to those who try and understand, we know and we thank you for trying. Sometimes it’s easier to spare going through the motoions, by not telling you all the time. and maybe when I do, it has no merit to you. Always

They say pain is relative to the person. I feel like the problems in my life are pretty serious ones, but even still, I don’t walk around all depressed. I think people that allow themselves to feel every feeling that passes make good writers/artists, but miserable friends, so I know what you mean, but the thing about the diaries is, it’s supposed to help…

I’m not depressed, just sleep deprived. Veerrryyy hard to tell the two apart. You’re absolutely right though. Don’t EVER apologize for your feelings!

‘No, you never want to trade places. Even for just the small amount of time a day can be. Just try to understand. Listen and try to really hear what is being said. Then I have all the confidance you will get it and hopefully it will never get you. “In all this time the bottom line you don’t know how much I feel you say you see but I don’t agree Don’t know, don’t know how I feel” –

i’ve thought about it.. what’s my secret?