Too EXCITED for a clever title to a random entry *

 I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to get the fuck out of Dodge.

In the aftermath of the separation things have been oddly calm ~too calm~ and the fact that he is being so fucking nice to me drives me mad. This would be so much easier if he hated me. You know, like last time…

I get on a plane on Saturday to fly to California. I was born in California, not that I really remember it but for some reason I bring it up like it is a fact that is going to impress someone. I think I’ve even been to a Dodger’s game too so hey I’M COOL if you didn’t already know that. In high school I’d play ‘California Girls’ on repeat on my CD player. Yep, just admitted that.

I’ve returned to CA several times since my departure and there is something about San Francisco that draws me to it. But I’m not going to San Francisco so I have no idea why I brought that up. Moving on. I’m going to Huntington Beach for a work conference. It is SO MUCH MORE than a work conference though, and it really couldn’t have been better timing. I’m actually travelling quite a bit in May, so maybe that is a good thing. Looking for housing is exhausting and I really just want to be away as much as possible. Michigan in the middle of May, Chicago at the end. Oh, Chicago. Heh.

I’ve met 2 1/2 people from the internet in person. And while catfishing is a relatively new term, the practice has been around since the dawn of this here internet. And I was a victim before the days of facebook and Google, when it wasn’t as easy to check facts and back up someone’s story. So yeah, why wouldn’t I commit to flying to Chicago and staying with someone I’ve never met that had sent me one photo? Seems legit.

I remember getting off the plane. It was just after 911 and you couldn’t meet anyone at the gate anymore and I flipped a little because I thought he had just stood me up in the middle of Chicago. I had no idea what I was doing. No cell phone to lean on…. But I trudged on and made my way to baggage claim and noticed someone staring at me intensely as I rode the down the escalator. Creeper. And then it hit me why he was staring and when I saw him part his bulbous lips to speak my name I almost fainted right there on the spot. That shit is mean. Don’t do that to anyone. Pony up and be yourselves fuckers! Someone will love you for who you are! I promise. In this case it couldn’t have been me though and he hated me for a long time and called me shallow. I told myself that I was more hurt that he lied to me than the fact that I was just not attracted to him, but yeah, I’ve always been a pretty good liar.

So I’m off to Southern Cali, SOON and I couldn’t be happier. I can’t wait to dig my toes in the sand and drown in the lovelust that is my birth state. I’m being called home, and I can’t wait to find it. 

*EDIT*

And also….Brazilian waxes…..HOLY FUCK ME….that hurt.