March 22, 2002

Anna Begins

I see so much of myself in her.

Let me rephrase that.

My old self.

I remember going to the bars with friends, picking up guys, going back to their place…while someone at home waits for me.

I want to tell her not to go down that road. I want to tell her it’s not worth it. Sooner or later it all goes away, and you’re not left with anything but a faded memory. And so it goes.

I just don’t have the energy anymore. I’d rather buy cheap beer and drink at home on Saturday nights, than go out and get shit-faced and spend a hundred bucks. I think there’s some satisfaction, in knowing, I’m not going home with that random someone I met last week, or that night…that there is plenty waiting at home.

And today I spoke with her on the phone, and she says she feels silly for what she did…and tonight I am supposed to go out with her and her boyfriend. And somehow try and keep a straight face. Oh, what tangled webs we weave…

And Anna begins to fade away…

I want to apologize for being non-existent lately. Nothing worth while to write about I guess. I appreciate the e-mails from you all wondering if I’m okay, and I really do thank you for that. jenn, you’ve got a special e-mail coming, promise.

And other than that…life goes on. I’ve got a bit a secret…been yearning for the touch a woman again lately…

Oh…I’m sooooooooooo dirty…

Anna Begins rules! One of m tope 3 Coutning Crows’ songs.. up there with A Murder of One and High Life. Jonathan

The last one you left me…

hey girl, haven’t been good with keeping up with the diaries lately but wanted to let ya know i was here ~leaving you a hug~

i think i misunderstood what the note meant, but at any rate, misunderstanding aside, i think it was inappropriate, and could have caused problems if he and i weren’t so open and honest with each other. are you trying to imply that he should be in love with you?? and if so, why?? because he likes the way you write?? that’s what all his notes to you have conveyed, and clearly nothing else…

i’m not a confrntational person by nature, and i don’t wish i have one now, i just wanted to see what your note meant, and i still don’t know. i don’t feel that you are being forthcoming, but that’s fine, i don’t really care. that being said, this whole thing can end here, as i just don’t want to waste my time with it anymore. good luck and take care.

Oh2bd@mnd

March 24, 2002

*slides up next to you and wrpas arms around ya*…you know..i have been looking at my once most wonderful friend..and realising i don’t care for what i see ….interesting indeed….*kisses*..miss ya sweetie…..*whipsering* You are just going to have to come down here *Winks*

Nothing dirty about that! Be sure to give up the details if you succeed. 🙂

There’s no problem with wanting a womans touch…who knows better how to please a woman than another woman!!

I understand…

Christopher_3

March 27, 2002

Still thinking about you and I hope that things are as you wouold have them. Catch up soon…take care.

Maybe what would be weakness in you now in your life might be some admixed strength and weakness at this point in her life. I’ve only had a few interludes of personal liberation in my life, and a little regret in not having exercised the will to power earlier. I dunno…

Oh how i’ve missed You… ~hugging You tight and NOT letting go~

compleretly understand. and I’m drinking. so my spelling is WAY off

looniverse

April 13, 2002

i love that song