why can’t I be rich?

Well that was a waste of time.

I went to the courthouse and the self help center had "reached capacity" and they couldn’t help anyone else.

I guess I was too late.

I went down to the clerk to try and find a file or something…

but they didn’t have anything for me to fill out in the case of a spouse that could not be found.

So whatever, back to square one. I’ll do some research I guess.

But for now I’m gonna eat something and do laundry and try to stop cryng.

On a more happy note, baboo came over last night. I cooked dinner and then we went to the store and he replaced my alcohol (he’s also gonna buy me some champagne for mothers day … or so i hope) that he drank and we had a few and stayed up till 3 am talking about all sorts of things… zombie invasions, religion, politics, torture, blah blah blah.

The one thing I want to talk about, we didn’t.

but he has actually held his hard line on not wanting to give me a baby.

Every time I look at him now I see what our baby would look like.

I’m a mess.

now is not the time to have another child.

I just want to know that maybe someday it will be.

whatever.

I can’t even get a fucking divorce.

if you’re not rolling in money, you’re fucked.

I just want to cry.

oh wait, I already am.

HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!!!

I do hope everyone has a great Friday and a super weekend.

Happy Mothers Day to all you moms! You are awesome!!!!

*pokes*

filthy gorgeous

May 8, 2009

happy friday, mama. im back from nyc. damn, i have a lot of u to catch up on, dont i? i think its normal to want a future & something more solid with someone u love so much. read u more later. take care.

i agree. if you’re not rolling in the dough, then you’re basically gonna be stuck in a rut – ALWAYS. and it sucks!!! hope things get better. <3

B+

That’s awful… hey, if he’s gone for more than 7 years can you claim him as legally dead to you and collect SS death benefits? Maybe if you file for something like food stamps, they might be able to locate him. Once our Social Worker forced us to apply (even though we didn’t qualify) and they were able to pull up Alex’s SS information, including where he was working and how much he was making… Just an idea. ((HUG))

four.leaf.clover

^^^Those sound like interesting ideas up there… Hugs. I hope you can get this straightened out somehow!

Beautiful406

I hope he comes around on that for you. Happy Mother’s Day to you too.

Sperry

It really sucks to feel trapped. I know. Just think of how much less time and energy you’d have to spend on him if you had a baby! You obviously think he’s adorable so you get to look at HIM! Even more! Sorry, it’s just my pathetic way to make you stop crying. Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy your dinner, concert, and gaming.

“I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay Ain’t it sad And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me That’s too bad In my dreams I have a plan If I got me a wealthy man I wouldn’t have to work at all, I’d fool around and have a ball…”