this is how my week starts out

Dear Monday,

Oh you like that don’t you, torturing me. Fine. I’ll see your torture and raise you a punch in the faaaace!

 

Dear Downtown Los Angeles,

Does a fairy come by every day and just pour URINE all over the place? you fucking stink. Like piss. It makes me think this is what it was like in the olden days when people would pour their chamber pots out of the window into the alleys and streets. It smells like a damn toilet and it does NOT make me proud to live and work here. I can’t imagine what people must think when walking down our piss and shit littered streets. We suck. LA, you are a shame, YOU’RE GROSS, and I don’t like you. So there.

 

Dear alarms,

You were like death all 10 times you went off this morning. That’s why I was late. I blame you for your evil noise. why can’t you just gently wake me with kisses and coffee?  ugh.

 

Dear Puppy Ceaser,

You did good not peeing in your crate last night. Lets keep that up now that you’re all clean and shiz.

 

Dear Kitty Roku,

You’re the best. I heard you going after that mouse. Too bad you didn’t catch it. You did however leave a dead one in my dirty clothes pile… ummm… thank you?

 

Dear 30 Days of Night (Dark Days)…

Why do you exist? Ugh. thank god the original cast ran away from you, because you were rank.

 

Dear Paranormal 3 (no spoilers),

You were stupid. I’m going to review you later. but first, I’m going to punch you.

 

Dear Children,

I don’t remember sanctioning the living room sleeping party last night. You must think you can get away with murder…

 

Dear giant pork butt roast,

You took 5 hours to cook. You better be delicious.

 

Dear Train,

what the fuck making me late and forced to walk the pee riddled streets to get to my back up bus stop. Jesus Danielle was NOT ON THE DAMN TRAIN, so the fact tha tyou stopped and searched the train TWICE for this person, putting us 10 minutes behind schedule really pisses me off. I don’t even know what the big ass deal was. Ugh.

 

Dear Period,

You haven’t arrived yet, but you’re being a little bitch about it. Cramping me up, making my back hurt. I hate your ass. there is no way I’m pregnant because the first sex I’ve had in almost a MONTH was Saturday night (and even then the act wasn’t finished by the appropriate fertilizing unit)… so just hurry up already.

 

Dear Money,

Why do I not have more of you? I could really use you righ tnow. I have PLANS!!!

 

Dear procrastination,

GET THE FUCK OUT. God.

 

Dear Breakfast Burrito,

I’m coming for you. You will be my deliciousness.

 

Dear Monday,

Yeah, I’m back. Shape up or ship out, whore.

 

Dear my peoples,

LOVE YOU *MUAH!*

 

Sincerly,

Me, who obviously couldn’t put together a paragraph this morning.

 

 

 Humanity Scar: Last Words (Journal 1) for your Amazon Kindle today! Click Here! 

 

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        Humanity Scar   

 

 (A zombie apocalypse survival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)