sudden gloom

 

 

 

 

I just got out of a 2 hour long meeting about virtually nothing. But whatever. Yay meetings!

*stabs face*

I’m in a face stabbing mood.

Yesterday I had to take Jake to the doctor to have his fungus checked on. It’s gone, but I wanted them to make sure at the 6 week point like they requested. So I got there almost 20 minutes early.

45 minutes later, we FINALLY get called into the examination room.

Guess how long we waited THERE…. oh guess.

How about another hour?

Yep, and then the doctor came in and looked at Jacob for about 10 minutes and that was it.

I wanted to lose it. but I put on my "high, i’m normal AND patient!" face and blah blah blah.

We got out of there close to 7.

I ended up getting Burger King *yuck* and trying to have a good evening.

it was ok, I suppose.

Whatever.

I feel like I’m forgetting something. bleh.

I was going to post this poem that I wrote, but I don’t feel like it anymore.

A gloom has sorta… taken over my brain. I just don’t feel right.

I don’t know what it is.

Whatever.

Stupid everything.

I am trying to focus on good things.

Jacob is not dead.

Jonathon isn’t either.

ummm.

yeah.

oh! I remember.

So "he" was watching The Butterfly Effect last night and so I was asking him if he would like that power and blah blah blah.

I kept thinking about it, and I guess I wouldn’t mind being able to do that. But I don’t think I’d really like to change too many things in my life.

I suppose the only thing that I would really like to change is marrying that loser and co signing on that car. I doubt not doing those two things would have that much impact on my life.

i suppose i really wouldn’t want to do anything that would stop me from having my kids…

and meeting "him".

though sometimes I wonder how long that’ll last and if one day I’ll be writing here about how much I wish I had never met him.

it always happens.

bah.

i don’t like thinking like this.

things are cool and all is well.

or something close to it.

i just really want some ice cream.

bad.

i’m lame.

i’m gonna go… do some work or read some favs or … whatever.

damn this gloom! dammmmnnn iiiiiiit!!!!!