*sucker punches tuesday in the FACE*

 

Another draggy day. I don’t get my body being so damn worn down this week. it sucks. makes me feel old. I’m not OLD YET. god. stupid.

got here at 5:30 so i took my nap. my phone alarm wakes me up, but it sounds like my phone rings in my dream first. it was weird. i was having a nutty hospital dream.i don’t know why. having a party in a hospital waiting room at some point and putting my hand on the thigh of some weird old man for no reason.

 

i have no idea.

i’m a big mess.

 

i went to bed "early" last night but couldn’t get to sleep.so that sucked.

too many things in my head.

i put on some fake nails. I like them. except for the glue hurts the first day for some reason. i just hope they stay on for a week. that would be nice. they make me feel pretty and girly when i’m normally all gruff and growl and non fuss.

 

having a bad hair day.

 

god shut up the complaining.

i know i’m very lonely and I’m bitter and blah, but time is still time and i need to be at least noticing my life instead of letting it slide around me like a strange shroud that only means i’m going to die one day.

blah.

there is a transfer opportunity for the dept. of water and power. they pay better and ahve better benefits. its in the Information Technology Services division. so total computer nerdy-ness. which is me totally.

i’m going to put in a resume.

 

I’m trying to not get excited. it’s VERY DIFFICULT to get into that dept. they take care of their own and usually hire within. but, they gave an extensive description of the job and i think they may really need someone. i think i’m pretty qualified, in that they want someone with timekeeping experience as well, and i did that when i got here.

i think it would be ultra neat to get that position. what if i got here just so i could get the experience needed to go there.

it makes me believe in "divine plans" and stuff like that.

i know i’m weird and i’ll shut up now.

but i have experienced it before so it’s ahrd to deny.

anyway, today is operation "flush out my system" day. i’m fat a fucking hippowhaleelephanthouse and i’m SICK AND TIRED TO DEATH OF IT.

so i am going to drink a lot of tea and eat small portions. i have fallen off a little with my exercise, but if i can clean a portion of my room then i can have room to do some sit ups.

so since i know at some point i’ll be bored, i also need to write an entry today about:

*idiots and why I hate them

*god just post your damn new years eve stuff before it’s new years 2008!

* my 13 year old brother is a freaking idiot and we got into a fight that almost ended with blows

* sadness sucks

 

and uhhh ok. yueah.gonna go do those things i said i needed to do when i said i needed to do them before.

or did i?

oh god, who knows.