suckah
I’m a sucker for love. I love those of you who are here and I know that I could never just STOP. I guess I just feel a bit down because my ability to express myself and feel connected is weak. I have learned to rely on it, from the love and support of you guys, for 12 years. It’s not secret, I’m not social. I don’t LIKE making friends in person. I get nervous and I hate people and I am terrible at staying in contact and planning get togethers and being "normal". I mean, the truth of it is that I don’t know how to maintain actual in person friendships. I just have a block there or something like that. I don’t know. All I know is that for a person like me, the family that I found on OD was like … a miracle. It was… perfect. I created such amazing bonds. Some came and went, but so many stayed strong and grew stronger and stronger still.
Now I feel them peeling away and fading. I should email more. I should note longer and better. I should do something. But I feel at a loss. Is it going to help? Am I going to just find myself alone anyway?
I wrote as if I was talking to my best friends and then, as it would happen in a real conversation, my best friends spoke back to me. Now I wait for days to hear my friends speak back to me. Those that do bring sparks to my world, light it up, make me smile.
but it’s not like it used to be. And I feel … lonely.
I’m a brat right? It’s what you call a note whore right?
I don’t know.
I don’t know what I am except for confused, tired, hungry, cold, and crazy. I know I am those for sure.
I also know I have to clean and do laundry. I’ve been putting it off, the laundry. Now it’s a beast. I will never defeat it. It’s like a damn dragon.
laundry dragon.
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cross poster! whos the crazy person refreshing every 10 minutes?? this girl!!!!!! miss ya! love ya!
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I know what you mean. You used to get tons and tons of notes every entry. To go from getting tons, to very few, is a kick in the teeth. It’s not even personal I bet. I think everyone is just getting so disillusioned, that coming here is a chore. Not their friends, but trying to navigate the site and having constant issues, it’s hard on people because of the busy lives we all tend to live now. *hugs* I’ll try to stick around as long as possible, and I’m glad we have facebook, and I’ll never delete you over a cookie ever.
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ugh i understand how you feel. it’s so hard to make and maintain friendships as an adult. hope you find what you’re missing, but in the meantime you absolutely know we are all here! 🙂 <3
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how a lot of people look down on supposed “note-whores” and elsewhere on the internet “karma-whores” and I don’t think they understand that for people like us, that’s all we have when it comes to a social life. We shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it.
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The site crapping out isn’t really helping maintain any sort of relationship with anyone. I know I am the crappiest of noters anyway, but it seems like any time I actually have something to comment, OD decides to like censor it before its posted and just show me errors. I’m not feeling it much either now. People are mostly posting complainy entries or sending snappy notes to each other. Meh.
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I am so sad that OD isn’t functioning properly. I feel the same way. I feel like, when I do write, I don’t get any notes… and what’s the point? I mean, yes, I suppose I should be writing in a blog for me, but I like hearing what other people thing or I wouldn’t write. So I don’t. I’m lucky if I get one comment on entries I post and it saddens me. I know it’s because OD had been crap lately and everyone is jumping ship. I like Prosebox okay, but I much prefer OD.
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It’s nice to have you say it that way. That’s one of the reasons I’m here. Don’t feel bad for wanting the notes or whatever I’m not the only one then.
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If you can see this note then it made it through and I TOTALLY feel you. The lack of functional on this site is starting to get to me. Even writing notes is getting hard. Hugs lady. If anything go to Prosebox. We will follow. Or at least I will try to. **hugs**
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I know what you mean. I get SO frustrated when I want to log in and note people or write an entry, and I can’t because the site is down. I feel like we are very similar- I have such trouble making and keeping friends in real life too. I love OD and I love the people I’ve come to know here. Hopefully we are able to keep in touch.
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I suck at making friends too. I try, a little, then a person latches on and I push them away. When I am away from them I talk about making plans and what not but when we are together I just want them to leave. Then when they do leave I am all boo hoo I miss them. Yup. I suck. I miss you. I suck at noting anymore. I know that if I went to The Other Site full time it would be like old times…sort of, but I cant. I hate it over there.Its cold and sterile and white…so white AND I dont want to have to code my entries. Sigh. I kind of want the laundry dragon to eat me then I could be warm,fluffy and sweet smelling.
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Launrdy is such a whore… wow…. I had to add whore to the dictionary on the kindle. Fantastic. Love you.
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I’m still here babe, when I can be. I’m not leaving OD even if 90% of the time I can’t write an entry. I love you much!!
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hey, who ISN’T a note whore???
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Ryn: *bounces at you, arms wide open* Well, have at it woman! I’m all about the hugs!
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I’m sorry I’m a bad noter. I’m so limited on attention and patience that by the time this place loads up, I’ve already moved on to shinier things…
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