shoe dirt butter *E – it was…

oh what the fuckety fuck hell.

so i’m here bloated and not hungry all day.

i’m just grazing.

so i decide i can eat some peanut butter crackers, sealed, in a package that says they are good til Feb. next year.

I open them and they stink, like stale stink.

i think "eh, i’ll eat them anyway"

and they taste like dirt off a shoe.

LIKE REALLY?!

I have to hate peanut butter NOW, when it’s going to make me think "oh i might be pregnant!" when i’m NOT pregnant and the peanut butter crackers just hate me and want to make me cry.

 

well guess what peanut butter crackWHOREs, you did make me cry. i’m sad. i’m really really sad. I really wanted to eat you. But you’re disgusting.

i’m gonna go pee for the 9 millionth time and eat more ice breakers sour mints because that’s all the damn food I have. I hope you’re happy!!!!

 

my mouth tastes like a shoe right now.

this isn’t fair body, it’s not FAIR.

I hate you.

leave me alone.

stop being so MEAN TO ME.

I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!

*E – It was not my body! I had Baboo taste one of the infernal crackers and he said it was downright disgusting! He even spit it out. I on the other hand, ate at least two of them before deciding they were too gross.

I am not going to fuss and complain to the Ritz crackers people and hopefully they will give me a free box of them! or at least a damn coupon.

It ruined my entire afternoon!

I’ll keep you posted on the nasty peanut butter cracker saga!

(and it just confirms that I am NOT pregnant indeed)

 

 

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(yeah, I have a ticker. SUCK IT. This is part of who I am right now and I want one!)

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October 5, 2011

Preggers?! CAUSE YOU SOUND LIKE IT YOU HORMONAL TYRANT! <3 lol. Do you have any tests?!

October 5, 2011

Aw. Weirdness. I’d say there’s just a random thing gone weird with it. I’m sorry you didn’t get to enjoy your peanut butter and crackers. The other things you’re eating are good though. My body gets weird with things like that all the time. But I just deal with it. It doesn’t always taste the way it can.

October 5, 2011

OMG I keep a jar of PB in my office at work LOL

At the risk of pissing you off I have to admit I laughed at this one

Ok I must know, my love, how you know what shoe dirt taste like? Is it different from regular dirt? Do different shoes have different taste? Like, is a converse better than nike dirt? I would think high heel dirt is an acquired taste like wine. “Mmm, Margret, this Jimmy Choo dirt is SO much better than that Nine West garbage we had at the Smiths last night.”

October 5, 2011

Hrm. Maybe they are bad crackers AND you picked up on it due to your terribly sensitive pregnancy triggered nostrils. It could be. It COULD be.

October 5, 2011

Righto.

October 5, 2011

RYN: Thanks.

October 6, 2011

At the beginning I was starting to think that maybe you might be preggers and you were about to lose all appetite for anything peanutty… but now with the E*… kinda sad. But at least you still like peanuts!! Yay

October 6, 2011

i’m going to say peanut butter flavoured crackers always taste like used insoles. sorry.

October 6, 2011

Boo!