salad = fail *Hate update

shit.

that’s what my lunch was.

I got this fancy ass salad last night at the grocery store. It called itself an "Italiano Salad"

here is what was in it:

Romaine Lettuce, Radicchio, Genoa Salami, Smoked Turkey Breast, Fontina cheese, Black Olives, Peperocini and reduced calorie champagne vinegarette.

Sounds delicious doesn’t it? I mean, I don’t much like olives, but they were in a little section and I didn’t have to eat them.

well the first thing I noticed when I opened the package was that it had a weird smell. The date on the package said Feb. 25th, so it couldn’t have expired. But it smelled WEIRD.

The turkey smelled WEIRD. the cheese smelled WEIRD.

It was very weird, but I started to assemble it anyway. That part is fun. Dump in the cheese and stuff, la la la. The dressing smelled DELICIOUS, and I poured that on happily, toss toss mix mix.

First bite… ok, I can eat this even if it smells funky.

Second bite… that had a weird texture, but whatever.

Third and fourth bite… why is this tasting so weird?!!!

Fifth and final bite… *gag barf gross* WHAT THE HELL???!!! I’M NTO EATING THIS ANYMORE!!!!

so in a fit, I threw the whole rest of the salad away, about 3 quarters full still.

It was just rancid and gross and I couldn’t eat it.

I’m sad, I really WANTED TO EAT IT!!!!

but alas, it was not to be. 🙁

So I went to my afternoon snack (which now I won’t have!) and ate some deli turkey and pepper jack string cheese on some saltines.

Not satisfying.

I ended up eating double the amount of saltines I should have and now I know my blood sugar spiked *sad trombone*

WHAT A FAIL.

stupid fancy ass salad shit.

And I have another one at home! what the hell am i gonna do?!

I think I’ll just use the lettuce on a separate salad and like.. cook up the meat and cheese in an omelette. That might make it taste better.

whatever.

i’m pissed off, hungry, feeling sick, and ready to go home.

2.5 more hours of this bitchy ass place.

 

bah!

 *Hate update: OMG I HATE YOU.

people are just… ew. I don’t LIKE THEM AT ALL.

there are such a small few people that I actually do like, it makes the rest of this world really disposable.

i’d say more, but then we’d all probably end up hating each other.

not that i’d mind, but who needs more chaos.

the end.

 

Yeah, after I wrote that I realized, why did I write that? blowing off steam I guess. I just sorta hate the human race, boot lickin ass faces, teh whole lot of this planet. ugh. i just hate people so much. there i go again.

cross this out…

 

and shut up.

I should probably delete it, but I know someone likes laughing at my hysteria.

 

Oh yeah, I have a ticker. Look at that!

 

 

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February 17, 2012

ugh. sad times. i find premade salads never last as long as they say on the packet.

DYING right now!!!! you sound like me at work LMAO

February 17, 2012

Why did you have to get pregnant? I kind of miss drunk rambling Chaosbride.

What a stupid shame. I would be just as furious if I bought a salad and it was bad. People always say “Go return it” well that prevents me from getting angry and throwing it forcefully into the garbage!

IT’S LIKE WE ARE CONNECTED AT THE BRAIN STEM. <3 <3 <3

I don’t like olives, either…I think that was a bad salad..or maybe it was a bad day to eat salad…:/

You should really be careful with lunch meat. You are more likely to get listeria when pregnant, and lunch meat, hot dogs, salami/pepperoni are all more likely to give it to you unless they are heated to 160 degrees. If I were you, I’d take the other salad back to the store you bought them from, tell them you bought two, but had to throw the other one away and want your money back for both. Wouldn’t want nugget to get sick over a silly piece of gross meat. Why do you think I’ve been DYING for a sandwich? They aren’t the same heated. And it doesn’t help that our stupid immune systems go way downhill why we’re pregnant. Stupid Listeria.

OH! and in case you haven’t heard – OD isn’t dying 🙂

February 17, 2012

Hugs.

While I was reading about the weird smelling salad, I swear, I just unexplainably got a smell of bad cheese and meat 🙁

February 17, 2012

….. I feel I need to shower after reading this….

February 17, 2012

I hate the human race too. (Hugs)

February 18, 2012
February 18, 2012

Rough day pookie?

February 18, 2012

If you wanna get misanthrope t-shirts, I’m down. Fuck that salad, yo! <3

RYN: Your words and advice were frank and sound. I heeded them. Indeed she choose me, and who am I to discredit her. You are quite intelligent, regardless of how you want to be seen or think you are seen. There is a spark in you that others may try to extinguish, but you are too quick and smart for that. Shine on, homegirl.