Recluse Rant

I can totally relate. I feel pretty much the same way about myself and I try to avoid doing “out in public” things as much as possible. What makes it worse is all the time Thomas spends with his family…weekends at their country house, family dinners, weekend BBQs, reunions, etc…all that shit. His family members are ALL like, stick thin. I’m always the biggest one there. He totally doesn’t getwhy I don’t want to go every single time. Sure, I have a great time once I warm up and get over myself, but warming up and getting over myself is the HARD PART UGH. I wish I could just get off my fat ass and fix this shit already. I’m tired of having to live this way solely because of the way I see myself.

I think terrible things like that too about myself. I try really hard just to “be” and not be hard on myself, which is easier said than done. I hope you do go to the party and maybe even meet some interesting people, you never know. btw: I totally stole your “wishes” format for my last entry, and it was fun. 🙂

I hate going in public sometimes for the same reason.

Go and if you get insecure think – I’ve got a sexy baboo on my arm and he’s all mine, i must be damn good to hook this man. going to the party doesnt mean staying all night right? maybe set up a time with baboo when you can leave by then you have a goal to make it through. i think the more you do it the easier it will be.

I hate going for the same reason, but I do it anyway. I try to be out going. I try to have a good time. I drink a little bit more to help with that. And then I usually end up having a better time than I thought. You never know.. you may meet some pretty cool people that you would actually like hanging out with from time to time.

I always think dirty things when people mention a magic bullet. …. and I think people think the same thing about me… thats probably why I keep getting knocked up, so I can say “Oh Im pregnant” and have a reason for my jiggliness.

I remember once when you and Baboo were in the beginning stages and he invited you to a party you didn’t want to go to. Remember that. It turned out nice. This one just may too.

When my husband and I started dating, I gained a bunch of weight. I thought like you and alienated myself from pretty much all of my friends. I am more comfortable with myself now and I realize how much fun I probably missed out on due to being insecure. Wear something you are comfortable in and go with an open mind. You never know, you might have a good time.

Got to love crappy self-esteem. Although I will say this… I wouldn’t want to go to a party of someone I didn’t know either, regardless of how I was feeling about myself. That’s just awkward. “Hi! I don’t know you, but happy birthday anyway!” Dress in your favorite clothes, bring your magic bullet, find their coffee pot, and show off your mad Magic Bullet skillz! ;D

im so wish i could come over and have some ice coffee drinks with your magic bullet! 🙂

Hugs. I hate moods like that all around!

I can relate on so many levels! I’ve convinced myself I have high self-esteem and don’t give a sh*t what people think but when I go into public I feel all awkward, like everyone is looking at me. In reality I know they aren’t. Sucks though!

M that makes me sad, to not want to go out because of how you look. I thought my esteem was terrible but girl you are giving me a run for my money. I’m so sorry you feel that way. I’m glad you are going though, sometimes it’s good to get out and have a good time.

I feel like that too sometimes. I tell myself, ‘Phillip loves me, so it’s ok if everything else thinks I’m gross.’ :/

I know how you feel, I’ve always been pretty shy. It’s always uncomfortable for me when I’m around a bunch of people I don’t know. Small talk is not my strong suit.

Awww! I get that way sometimes too but girl, you KNOW it’s only making you more miserable!! Go shopping for a cute top or something to make you feel pretty. 🙂 This entry makes me want to diet. ::sigh:: And ps, you’re gorgeous so shut your face. Please and thanks!! Hehe. <3

I’m the same way about being in public. Every time someone looks at me for more than a few seconds I get all paranoid, and wonder what they’re staring at and thinking about.

I am the same way! OMG.

or, you just might have fun.. try it. 🙂

🙁 i’m sorry about stupid people… i can understand where you’re coming from kind of… not necessary the insecurities about your weight, but because i look so young. people look at me like “omg how old is she” and they even go as far as talking to me with that attitude and treat me like i’m 12. it’s irritating… i’m really dreading the day i become pregnant because i’m going to get treated like

some trashy 14 year old who doesn’t know how to keep her legs closed. i swear i’m gonna have to wear a shirt everywhere i go that like labels me as my real age haha. i already feel like that when i’m trying to buy a damn drink!

I will have to spend more time going back to read your past … oh 2-3 months worth of entries. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on. Baby update – daughter is due 10-10-10 and the latest ultrasound confirms its a boy. We’re all thrilled and she’s as healthy as a horse ! will update more soon. *Hug* miss you – K

I understand this. I can relate to it. But you are an amazing person and someone everyone would want to be around! *HUGS*

oh, sweetie, but you’re so cute and funny, a great listener, and you have the most entertaining stories to tell- you’re a perfect party guest!

You need more pudgy friends like me.