rambling crappity crap *edit oh hell

 

 I looked everywhere, but it’s a fact… I have no motivation to do anything.

None at all.

I’m like the blob I did a paint picture of, but WORSE.

I have been doing things, but only things that will get noticed if I don’t do them.

otherwise, i’m not doing them.

I’m in a totally weird hormonal state.

Like, I’m uncomfortable because of my period. It really makes me grouchy and anti-social. I don’t want to be bothered.

Baboo keeps arranging for this dumb person to come ot the house and do a presentation, but I don’t want ot be bothered. I don’t want to be bothered to clean up the living room so it’s "presentable" and I don’ t feel like wasting an evening on some person coming by to blah blah blah in my ear. He rescheduled it to Tuesday, but I’m not going home tonight and cleaning and it won’t be cleaned tomorrow either.

I feel like telling him to give me the guys number so I can tell him we are not interested and to move along.

I’m serious.

I just wrote him an email about it. he can either cancel or I will.

If he’s so dead set on listening than he can clean up and sit through it.

It’s some financial planning blah blah blah.

we suck at money, and listening to some fool blah blah blah about it isn’t going to change a thing.

so whatever.

or i could just leave everything a mess and not answer the door when they come.

I could yell "go away!!!" and give them a good story to tell their friends.

whatever.

Baboo gave me the number so I’ll call tonight and cancel and even if they want to try and convince me I have no problem being rude and hanging up on them if I need to.

i hate everything.

but it’s also weird because I’m completely head over hills crazy about Baboo right now.

I just want to SEE HIM.

it’s so stupid.

We live together. I saw him all day for the last 5 days.

I should be over it.

but nooooo… I’m googly mcsmoogly and I can’t wait to go home and see his dumb face.

I need help.

Or chocolate.

So when we went to dinner on Saturday I got jumbalaya and it was really tasty. I have like… 5 bites for my lunch. I’m going to be starving.

damn it all.

so yeah.

i hate everyone but my fiance (and my children of course) and I wanna go home.

oh so get this, my brother needs a haircut. I know this. He’s getting one next weekend.

Well he went to stay with my aunt over Thanksgiving and I guess she went and complained to my mother about it and then my mother fussed at him about me saying I’m not taking care of him.

Are you SERIOUS BITCH?!

oh lord.

I’m more upset at my aunt than anything.

If you have a problem, come to me.

also… NOBODY IS HELPING ME. I’m taking care of him all on my own.

You think a fucking haircut (when his hair isn’t even that bad, it’s not even half an inch long) is so essential, give us some fucking money for it, you dumb old bags!

ok, so they aren’t dumb old bags, but SERIOUSLY.

don’t do that shit.

I was gonna write her an email and chew her out, but I changed my mind. No need for it.

It’s just disgusting and stupid and pisses me off.

Lunch is in 25 minutes.

I hope I survive.

I hope I have some ramen to eat…

or i’ll be ravenous when I get home.

so I guess my brother is going to visit my mom over new years. I was hoping to sorta do something with Baboo, but we will be stupid broke and he’s more than happy to stay in the house. We’ll probably drink champagne and pass out at 11. ha ha.

i’m really sad that the show Dollhouse is only going thru th end of the season.

i like that show.

ok, sooooo…. i guess i’ve lost motivation for this entry now.

not that it’s interesting or whatever.

 

*edit: so the cat might be out of the bag.

my little sister (she’s 25) might end up getting stranded in the valley because the snow might close down the freeway tonight (why she would go to school when it’s snowing is beyond me. I know I wouldn’t! screw that!)…

so my step mother just called to let me know she might have to come stay with me.

There is no problem with that.

the problem is that NOBODY KNOWS BABOO LIVES WITH ME.

They would DIE. Fall over and melt into the floor and have total fits.

This is why I haven’t told them. I don’t need the drama.

I can hear it NOW. How I’m going to hell and living in the ways of the devil and blah blah blah.

WHATEVER.

I’m hoping hoping hoping that she calls my brother Johny (who stays out in the valley during the week for work) if it happens. I don’t even have anywhere for her to sleep, cept on the weird curvy section of the couch.

ugh, and just to have the whole uncomfortableness of Baboo and I there and…

ugh.

just ugh.

I have a feeling if it happens and she goes home and tells them, i’ll be disowned by christmas.

whatever.