Open brain, release words, dodge insanity!

 

 

 

 

Yeah,so I had to go to that dumb training.

and so that put me out of the "working spirit"

I miss "him" even though he made me go to bed sad last night.

I am very upset about the changing of my plans.

I’m mad that I can’t do what I want. It’s so RARE that we will get this time where I don’t have kids (unless I can find a cheap reliable babysitter who is close to me. I’m not sure about that tho. le sighaliation!) and so I wanted to maximize it.

but oh well.

whatever.

life isn’t over.

life is just dumb right now.

EXCEEDINGLY DUMB.

I’m on a big word kick.

biiiig woooords.

and hello.

tenacious.

splendiferous.

ostentatious

catastrophe

Indubious

Cantankerous

smithereens!

magnanimous

one of these doesn’t belong with the others.

one of these doesn’t belooooong.

I’m losing it.

and hello.

*sigh*

i want to go home. i want to not think.

that reminds me.

FUCK A NUCK.

*sigh*

I’m tired of this week.

I was ok yesterday.

but today, I think I’m feeling dark blue.

I’m gonna go change my colors.

yes. i am.

and so it goes.

on and on.

i feel tired and MEH.

total meh.

sick of everything.

i want my finances fixed.

i wanna be able to go on a grand adventure on saturday and not have to think about how much it costs.

I want to have another few hours to just sit with "him" and smell him and adore him.

I want to have all the walls come down… on EVERYTHING.

I want to be independently wealthy and not have to work.

i want to eat whatever i want and not gain weight.

i want a pizza machine that just delivers me pizza from whatever place i want on demand.

i want a sundae maker that makes fresh brownie fudge sundaes when it KNOWS I NEED ONE.

I want a car that runs on air.

I want a house that’s already paid for.

I want to have a cute baby girl with a dad who wants it.

I want to never have another period, but I want to stay fertile. Just in case. Ya know. uh…

I want some new shoes.

I want better hair.

I want to weigh 115 pounds.

I want a maid who loves laundry.

I want well behaved children who curtsey and bow and say "I love you mommay!" and skip away to play like the movies show.

What’s funny to me right now, in all these wants… if I could spell out everything I actually DID want… I’d still just want "him" in the end.

weird eh.

like, if i could make my dream person, it would be him.

anyway, enough mush.

no more mush for me!

i’m on a mission to do some work.

but i can’t make myself do it.

i’m on a mission to be cool.

but my nerdiness rules.

i’m a mission to get over it.

but it won’t get over me.

har har.

this is such a pointless array of dribble.

ooo array!

i like that word.

an endless array.

an array of goodies.

an array of array’s.

array’s? really?

ok i don’t like that word anymore.

i’m a scatterbrained scatter brain.

i should go right?

yeah.

ok.

fine.

i will.

i got work to do ya see.

actual job tasks.

tasks of the job.

jobilation.

jobby job job.

jobboo

jobbow

jobba

the hut.

ok ok.

sorry.

i’m going.

damn stream of conciousness.

someone knock me out.