No Take-Backs, Do-Overs, or Re-Trys

Well the last… oh… 12 hours have been ridiculous.

First, I caved and texted Photoboy.

I needed to, because it has resulted in my little impulsive brush fires of the brain to be extinguished. I’m definitely cooled off now and it is a good thing.

Nothing "bad" happened. I just need a little jolt. I got way too excited when he spoke to me online and expressed interest in me and let me know he had fun hanging out with me. Despite my firm grasp on the reality of the situation, the other side of me was off in damn La La Loopy Land, and that’s taken care of.

I simply asked what he was up to for the rest of the week, and he said he was getting his kids (yes, he has two kids. a boy and a girl who are relatively old. like between 6 and 9 i’m sure from the picture I saw) and I said that it was pretty cool and was he doing anything fun with them. and he never responded.

now, this isn’t me freaking out about that. He doesn’t HAVE TO respond to me. but it did sorta put me in a "check" mode. Simply because I realized that I’m expecting him to be digging me and for his communication habits to change.

And they haven’t. We didn’t talk every day before we met, hell it would be a miracle if we spoke every week. So for me to believe that a guy who is not over his ex, who just wanted a distraction, who has a full busy life with friends, and work, kids, and all the rest… to expect him to actually consider me much of anything and want to change the way things are from one night of being together… i’m retarded. and ridiculous. and some other R word.

heh.

so yeah, it just sort of took the little blindfold off my eyes and I realize that things are just chill. and I should leave them be. and all of these thoughts that he thinks more of me is just my wishful hopeless romantic side coming out.

so it’s all good. and I’m gonna leave him be. and if he wants to talk to me, he will.

and maybe in a week I’ll say hi if I haven’t heard from him, but I won’t feel like jumping out of my skin anymore.

end of that.

Now second stupid thing:

I emailed W this morning. On a total impulse. I just wrote a letter that "i would never send"… just to vent.

and then I sent it.

Oh well.

it’s not like he cares or even responds anyway. probably won’t even read it.

whatever is whatever.

on a GOOD note…

Sims Pets is AWESOME. and I love it.

I made Holly last night! (might have to fix her chin though, she said it’s WRONG) and I made a lovely Fin (awww, i miss the Fin…) and Jetty. I will make her house an dput her in it and make her happy in sim world!

Ha ha, what if i made her have a BABAY. hahahahah.

just kidding… or not.

I could do it.

she can’t stop me!!!!

If you don’t play Sims, you’re missing out. I think it would appeal to at least 75% of the population of this planet.

and everyone should play it.

even if you dont’ PLAY the game. just the creation and decorative aspects of it are just off the charts.

anyway, enough of my nerd babble.

 

this is my opening entry for the day?

damn, my diary is in trouble.

and oh! I can do some character outlines and such for Nanowrimo, so I’ll probably break my diary up into chapters. So that people who are bored by that drivel can decide to stay away from it. har har. Even though chapters can be confusing and annoying. I want to give them another go.

 

Ok, so off to do my morning ritual.

I might get tea.

Though yesterday, I had this honey lemon tea that made me wanna vomit. I just couldn’t stand the smell of it. It was weird. I love tea.

and away!