My Life As A Blur

I’ve realized that the last two years of my life have just gone by really fast. I can’t really recall anything that really seemed to… I don’t know… leave that impression that a good year full of memories is supposed to bring. Hell, I spent half of the last one pregnant and depressed, then the other half becoming a mother. If anything can make time fly by, that can.

I don’t know… I guess I just wanted to remember more about what happened. I want to really remember being in love, and most of the time, like right now, i just can’t seem to get my hands around it. I want to remember 2000 and 2001… and it’s like they never really happened. It’s all a blur… either that, or I am a blur that just kinda sped thru the time and didn’t take anything with me.

I’m scared I haven’t learned all the lessons that the last two years should have taught me. Sure, I’ve learned plenty of things, but I can’t help but feel like I’ve missed so much… so many things that could be helping me now.

I don’t want to live this next year as blur. I never want to do that again. But how do I change it? It feels like being a blur is the only thing I know…

just wait…it does go faster…

well.. I find that the times in my life that seem like a blur is because those are the times that were filled with pretty much all bad moments. We tend to try and black out those bad moment.. searching only to remember the good ones. If the good moments are few and far between, then it will be a blur.. I think you have a whole bunch of beautiful moments now, and ahead of you..

just take the time to appreciate them, and your life will not seem like a blur – but a beautiful chapter.. You will do fine.. stop analyzing so much child.. hehe.. sit back – relax and enjoy your life. It’s up to you how much happiness you pull from your life. Why litter up today with thoughts and worries and regrets from yesterday? Yesterday is gone.. overwith.. live today fresh and new.

At this moment, I feel like everything is a blur. Sometimes, it seems crystal clear. But right now, I feel that way, too, about a lot of things. The past.