leaf water tea and hades hell coffee

Oh boy. another entry. Whatever shall I do?

 

I’m just writing to stay awake. I’m so tired it’s not even funny. I felt fine this morning, so I’m not quite sure why I feel this fatigued right now. blah. It might be that I have really cut down my intake of Pepsi. How I miss it, but I’m poor and have no money to really buy it anymore. So I’ve stretched out my last 4 cans. I have one left. I’ve been indulging (har har) in iced tea…. bleh to the iced tea. It’s good sometimes, but sometimes it really does just taste like leaf water.

yuck.

so have this little blah in my head.

I want my heart back.

Thanks.

You can leave it by the door.

You don’t have to wait and let me know it’s there.

You can just go away.

I’m tired of thinking about W.

if only Jonathon didn’t look exactly like him.

I find myself wanting jonathon around me more. He just wants to run and play and be 5, but i just want him close to me. it’s all i have of W. He’s all I have.

I got lucky, i got him.

but why couldn’t i have them both?

see this is the shit i haven’t been saying because it’s pathetic.

i feel sick.

i want W. bad.

right now.

stop ignoring me.

stop it.

if he read my emails, why didn’t he write back?

oh well.

stop it me.

stop it me right now.

focus monique, focus.

breath.

relax

life isn’t a corner of hell.

it’s just got hell sprinkles.

hahaha.

hell sprinkles.

yes, i’d like that chocolate covered doughnut with the hell sprinkles please.

can i get the hades mocha with the fifth level cream on top? Oh oh… and if you don’t mind, i’d like some fire and brimstone in a to go bag.

bah.

i need to go draw out work for another hour and 40 minutes.

i can do it.

I have a survey i want to do too. though i was saving that joy for another day, i may have to bring out the troops now.