I’m still a pervert… wheeee!

My neck hurts.

I have 3 hickeys. (is that how it’s spelled? or is it hickie. hm….)

har har. Of course, in all my perversion, i like them. I like being marked. I like having something to remember sex by.

my butt also hurts. you do the math. bleeding from your ass is AWFUL but how it got that way feels… good (ok ok, i’m just sick. it’s official!!!!).

I’m so nasty. See, t hings never change when you’re just a filth brained fool such as myself.

So, now that I’ve gotten a good chunk of my nasty out, I must proclaim my profuse apologies for being so distant and invisible. It’s not good of me to just disappear like that, especially when so many of you are so important to me. I never wanted it to seem like I didn’t miss and love you or like I didn’t care if I updated or read favs. I have cared. But despondency and laziness has taken over me. I need to change it.

 I play with my boys like 45 minutes in the morning. I should be spending at least 2 or 3 hours bonding with them. I clean my house really well once a week when I could be maintaining it as a nice clean place every day. I am tired and lazy and if I hadn’t just had my period I’d think i was pregnant. har har.

The pill works. and having sex like once every two weeks helps too. thus the attack last night…. i hadn’t had sex in almost 3 weeks and I was seriously in need…. and going into heat. and it was animalistic crazy wild sex that just… yum. i love it like that. And after we just laid together in the dark with no tv or anything. and he touched my face… he’s never really touched me like that before. just tenderly and like he was studying me and memorizing me… like i do to him.

so it was nice. and he asked me if I loved him more. and… *sigh* I do. but he deserves nothing more than a kick to his face right now and I don’t know how to balance feeling so intensely with the fact that I am not getting treated in the manner I should be. And just so many issues with things I should do and could do and might do and think about doing.

*sigh*

and then to top it ALLLLLLL off… i’ve had unwarranted thoughts of W… and the other night while cuddling with Jonathon and putting him to sleep i felt almost overwhelmed with the “feel” of him… and just ugh! ugh ugh ugh!!!!!!

if I was online more I’m sure I’d hear from him. but that’s just one more reason to stay off of chat programs!

I never remember hickeys hurting like this.

yum.

I hope make-up covers them… or i’m in for lots of teasing at work. but maybe the whore boy will leave me alone when he see’s i got ravaged. he’s so annoying sometimes “come over after work, i’ll take care of you” *wink wink nudge nudge*

I feel like punchin ghim.

so i do.

and he laughs.

riiiiiiiight.

I was gonna do an entry the other day doing a quick readers digest version of the events of the past few months, but i don’t feel like doing that today.

MAYBE TOMORROW!

that’s my mantra.

say it with me. tomorrow! tomorrow! i love ya! tomorrow! you’re only a daaaay awaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!

I love Xenadrine EFX. that stuff works. i’ve lost 5 pounds, and just this morning i weighed myself and i’m down to 129 again. huzzah! see, if i was having more wild maniac sex, i’d lose more weight.

but i feel good.

what else.

ummmmmm. i don’t know right now. jonathon is torturing the cat. i’ll go take a few pictures and post them.