I wish I could tell you / Random Sex Talk

 

 

 

 

OK, so I’m finally bored enough to do the 10 Random Sexual Things About Me. Or something. I don’t know.

I also saw someone do 20 things I’d like to say. And I’m gonna do that too. Yes. I am.

So here we go! I’ll do the 20 things first, cuz sex is always more interesting.

Or at least to me.

So there are some rules about it being random and saying whatever you want. So whatever. Most of these aren’t even about OD people, so you probably don’t even care. ha ha!

1. I miss you. I miss what we had. I don’t think it’ll ever be the same, and when I try it feels depressing. But at least it’s not dead yet. At least.

2. I really wish I could tell you the truth. I want you to know IT ALL. But for the sake of sanity, I’ll leave it be and let things happen naturally. But we could be such great friends, but this is keeping me from being able to connect the way I want to. Damn it. Oh cruel fate.

3. You suck ass. I hate that you ignored me reaching out and I hate that I don’t know whats going on with you. Of course, it was all my choice, but I still hate all of this. Cuz it’s lame. and I just don’t like lame!

4. I wish I could apologize to you and not feel this anger that is inside of me. But there it is. Hate and anger and unforgiveness. It is making things hard. I don’t even know where I’d begin. So I guess I’ll never know what will happen because I’ll never get there.

5. I hope you’re not dying. I’ll be so mad at myself if I don’t get a chance to see you one more time.

6. Why do they all like YOU. Suddenly you’re miss hot office chick and I have to take being the  "almost miss hot office chick". That sucks! I liked being the prettiest cuz I’m a brat. and here you are, being prettier. damn you. Why did I hire you again?

7. Everyday I look for your messages. I love them! They make me smile and truly make my days better. I am so thankful for you,you have no idea.

8. Is it weird that I don’t lust after you anymore? You’re fun to talk to, but I no longer want to jump you in the closet. I guess that means I’m satisfied somewhere else now doesn’t it. ha ha.

9. You don’t write as often as I’d like you to. I really wish you did. You make me smile and I wish that there were more smiles in your world.

10. I hate going into the lunchroom these days because you are always there. You used to be nice but now you’re just a giant bitch and I really want to knock over your food and laugh at you.

11. You’re not all that attractive anymore either.

12. I hate you. I wish you would die. I know, this makes me a murderer right? Well I take that badge with pride. Because of all the people on this earth who SHOULD die, you are right up there at the top of the list. And make sure it’s painful and prolongued.

13. I wish I could hang around with you more. I miss you.

14. I’m really mad at some of the things you do and you think I don’t know. Of course I know, it screams in my face. But I’ll act like I don’t see it to keep the peace. But one of these days you’re gonna slip up and I’m going to be there with my "ha ha, I caught you" face. And then you’ll probably cry. Dumb bitch.

15. I love you so much it hurts.

16. I secretly favor you.

17. I feel bad that I virtually missed a few years of your life. I feel like I failed in some essential way and I can’t get any of that time back. I get immensely sad when I think about this and I don’t want to think about it anymore.

18. I’m scared for you. I don’t know where you are, or if you’re ok. and I wonder if you’ll ever be the same.

19. I wish we were closer. I wish that I could be the person that I was back then, the person you looked up to. I’m so sorry I failed you and I really hope that it didn’t contribute to how you are today.

20. I never met you, and I wish I had. I wonder what sort of life I’d have had with you in it.

That was too hard. It would have been easier if it had been ALL OD people. ha ha. *muah*

some of it was OD people. But not all.

OK!

so 10 Random Sexy Things! (and I’m gonna try to be really random!)

1.  When I’m talking dirty, I’m mentally editing myself and calling myself a dumbass for being so weird.

2. I really really wanna experiment with some role play. But not like "teacher/ student" or "doctor/patient" …I’m talking crazy stuff like martian/ Human and Homeless chick / Rich evil tyrant or Snake / Mouse… or how about Robot / Robot. hahaha robot sex…. oh my. Ha ha. oh the possiblities.

3. I want a gag ball REALLY badly. I really want to dabble more into bondage and leather. muahaha.

4. I would like to have a threesome. but on my terms.

5. I would allow the man I’m with to go have a random tryst with a hot chick twice a year so that he wouldn’t feel the need to hide and cheat. I wouldn’t want to know too much about it, but yeah.

6. I would like to try stripping with a pole one day.

7. One of the main reasons why I think about getting my breasts done (not like huge, just lifted and plumped. ha ha) is so that they can get more attention. They don’t get enough attention and it makes me sad. And I mean when I’m having sex. not while i’m walking down the street. though that’s fun to!

8. I really want to lose weight so i can make a video. that would be insanely embarrassing, but sooo fun.

9. Speaking of video, I think it would be really fun to do som ewebcam stuff with "him"… i’ve got a little exhibitionism in me.

10. I’m very sexually satisfied right now. No, that’s not random, but it’s good! ha ha.

 

That was hard too.

I think my brain is starving.

stupid starving brain!