I can’t focus…i feel like i was mean

Obviously i’m not posting any more Trigger today. I just can’t focus.

Ok, so this is my fault. I should have followed up.

The little tiny lady has been working her for over 15 years.

she is my subordinate.

I gave her some assignments to do and she only did it half way. The documentation that needed to be input into our tracking system was NOT done.

I did not follow up.

and now all this data is missing.

She is gone for the day so I can’t ask her what happened.

but she is notorious for doing this.

and now I look ridiuculous.

but really, only to me cuz my boss is gone for the rest of the week.

so i’ll clean up the mess, but lesson learned, I have to follow up on these people like they are children… even if they’ve been here forever and know what to do.

i guess not everyone is as skilled at slacking as I am.

I forgot to have my snack and vitamin.

but I don’t care.

I don’t want it.

What I really want is a pizza.

*sigh*

Meanwhile… as always, I feel all "bad" for talking mean about Baboo like he’s a horrible guy when he’s not horrible in EVERYTHING.

I’m just not getting what i want cuz I’m a brat. He doesn’t tell me I’m pretty or beautiful and he doesn’t romance me and sweep me off of my feet. but he’s attentitive and kind and wants me to be happy. And that’s very important and precious to me. I appreciate it.

When I’m with him, I am excited. I dont’ get bored looking at him. I don’t find myself looking at anyone else when he’s in the room because he’s gonna be better than all of them anyway. I want him happy. It is a joy to see him smile and hear him laugh. He’s a great cuddler and even though he hates my bed and i keep him awake, he’s spending another night with me and that’s really amazingly sweet of him.

So maybe I should tell this secret… one of the reasons this DOES work between us is that he DOESN’T give me exactly what I want, because if he did, it would probably make me feel weird and we’d have problems in some other way.

I recognize this, and while I fuss and complain and I could do with a little more pampering for my princess side… there is a benefit to him being so… Baboo-ish…. and distant… and not feeding into my ego.

ha. I know I feed his ego way too much. I guess it’s the big balance of things.

Anyway, he’s a good boyfriend and gives me lots of attention. If I didn’t want to be with him, I wouldn’t. but I do… so yeah, I fuss and complain and bitch about stuff,but if he didn’t redeem himself then things woudl be different. I think I do the same. I do stuff that gets right on his last nerve, but i redeem myself and things are ok.

And when I talk about the issues, he actually listens… so at least there is that.

and as far as me feeling all weird after sex, i think once we have sex like a BUNCH MORE TIMES, i’ll be cool.

ha ha.

i’ve been cut off for 30 days, I need some practice. I feel rusty.

ew a rusty vagina!!!

not mine though. i kept it tuned up while he was away.

speaking of tuning, my damn check engine light came on again. my transmission feels weird. i’m trying to ignore it. I need an oil change, my car better last till friday so I can go get it!

anyway, i guess I better go sort my papers and make sure all this crap is ready to go over with little tiny tomorrow.

I need to be a better organizer. I suck at organizing. my desk is always a paper explosion.