Hi, my name is baldy bald!

I’m a wreck right now.

My hair…. I’m gonna be one of those bald old prunes who never gets married and smacks on her gums as she rocks on the porch waiting for her son to bring her cabbage soup. Last night, I did an inspection of my thinning hair… AND A WHOLE FREAKIN CLUMP CAME OUT. Ok, so I’m totally freaking out and crying and having a total fit. It’s not fair, nor is it right. Damn vanity… I mean, my hair was a trial and a horror and made me scream… but I had it… it was thick and healthy… and .. and…. =(

I’m so distressed over this, I can’t tell you. The hair that fell out was all gray… FREAKIN GRAY… ok… so I’m leaning toward it being stress and hormones… and that if I just calm down and get my little hormones in line it’ll grow back. But in the meantime.. what the hell am i supposed to do? It’s right in the front where nobody can miss it! I have hair to cover it, but who knows when it’s gonna swish outta the way and show the world i’m a balding freak. Whos gonna wanna marry me now?

Sure, a guy will say they love you and will love you even if you go bald… but whose going to even start to love someone who already is bald??? I can see it now… “hey big boy, my name is baldy bald, wanna go out with me?” Oh god… i don’t know what I did, but please let my hair grow back.