food is trying to kill me

In case food kills me today, I just wanted to say sorry and I love you and thank you and please don’t cry.

Examples:

*I took a bite of my granola bar and I was chewing normally when a big chunk decided to bipass my teethand swallowing mechanism and fly down my throat, caushing me to choke and thrash about as it made it’s rickey painful way down my esophagus.

ouchy.

*I drank water and choked on that.

*I just ate a yogurt that had a weird texture and taste. Why did I eat it? I’M DAMN HUNGRY AND IT’S ALL I HAVE.

I looked at the expiration.

Ummmm… like 4 weeks ago.

eep.

live cultures indeed.

what will be next?

I don’t know.

but I think food is out to get me.

 

Oh yeah, I have a ticker. Look at that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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        Humanity Scar   

 

 (A zombie apocalypse survival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)  

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April 26, 2012

maybe you should lay off the eating for a bit?? maybe baby bump won’t mind, just sing to him.

Fight back!!!! Show that food who is boss. 😉

April 26, 2012

hate mornings like that.

Your favorite foods fighting you? Fight back with TUMS! XD XD LMAO Just kidding… Maybe your stomach does need a break from food? You might be eating too fast…

April 26, 2012
B+
April 26, 2012

So far, I’ve had applesauce. I’m too irritated to eat anything else at the moment, and might try to off myself with a Hot Pocket or something.

April 26, 2012

Ah, yogurt is a funny texture by definition. Really, it’s like one of the things that doesn’t seem like is going to go bad since you’re just growing bacteria in there on purpose… (:

April 26, 2012

hahahaha damned dangerous food

April 26, 2012

Hugs.