downward mood! Into the depths of snark with ye!

 

 

 

For some reason it has been very hard to get up in the mornings this week.

It might be because Baboo is there and he is cuddly and warm…

but I’m not sure.

I have been going to bed early, before 10 the last few nights, so I don’t know why my body is so tired. Yesterday i felt like death getting off the train. But I went home and ate and worked out and felt better, but still pretty tired.

I got Resident Evil: Degeneration in my Netflix (its an animated movie) and it was pretty cool. I do love the zombies. I love them so. I want to shoot some in the head!

I wish I could play the Resident Evil games, but they are too hard. I get too nervous and I can’t aim. If they had an "auto aim" feature or a way to not DIE… then I’d play them like crazy. but alas… it is not to be.

The new Resident Evil is coming out soon, if it hasn’t already. I wish I could play.

ANYWAY, enough about zombies…

*blink*

wow.

I think i’m losing my mind.

I run around all day just conjuring up crap I want to write about and nothing comes.

LAME SAUCE.

So if I get all of my work done today I’m gonna just take a deep breath and try to fill out at least the beginning portion of the divorce papers. They aren’t THAT complicated and hopefully when I go file and pay they can tell me what to do. I will ATTEMPT a service on the last known address I have for him.

Someone asked in a note how he can be driving around and not have an address.

Well here’s how, he’s been in this country illegaly for most of his life. He knows how to hide. He can put a family members address on paperwork and not even live there or go there at all. He probably doesn’t have a drivers license anymore because we never finished the green card crap. They probably denied his cuz he lied to the immigration person we spoke to about using other alias’s. He was a true piece of work thinking his fingerprints wouldn’t always come back to HIM.

He was arrested and went to court a lot. All things I found out AFTER the marriage had happened.

He took me for quite the ride and it’s really sad. I wish I had done this sooner… but I was so scared and confused and I just didn’t know what to do and nobody really had any help for me except "just do it!" and some part of me just felt so helpless…

Someone else asked if he saw the kids..

well only one of my sons is his, but he hasn’t seen him for over 4 years, since he left. Our son wasn’t even TWO YEARS OLD and he left him. Jacob used to sit at the window looking for his daddy who would never come. It’s awful and after he disappeared for 6 months with NO WORD I cut him off. He tried to come back but I told him he had to start paying child support.

Know what I asked for?

TWENTY BUCKS A WEEK.

Yeah.

He couldn’t manage it and he stayed away. (I even lowered it to 5 dollars a week, and he never even tried)

How is that for fucked up?

The guy was driving around in a jeep with a dvd player and leather seats when he reappeared. it got stolen and messed up.

KARMA

We went into a cheap used car together. I paid for it every other month because he was too lame to make a 200 dollar car payment.

I got my new Kia.

He whined and manipulated me into going in with him on a new car. He used the line "Are you the only person who is supposed to have nice things?"

Meanwhile, he had gotten the other car towed and owed me money for that. He had wracked up a years worth of SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR phone bills on a shared phone account that I PAID FOR. He refused to cut down his phone usage and I had to just shut the phone off… which made it virtually impossible to keep in contact because he had to keep a phone on for longer than 2 weeks and he couldn’t do it.

The last phone number I had for him is long out of service.

He left with the new 2005 Chrysler 300 3 weeks after he got it.

He had gotten into a car accident THREE DAYS after we got it.

Those people were threatening me up until a year or so ago when it all got settled.

He waited just long enough to get the license plates  and then he never came back.

Because he threatened to just "take his son" and disappear (which he could easily do… and he said he’d just have to punch me once in the face to do it), when I moved from the place where he knew I lived I did not give him my new address. He tried to make me tell him, but I didn’t. So he really has no clue where I live now. I never told him about any promotions or job addresses either.

I have no idea what the status is on the car he has. My name is on it, so if it goes down, I go down with it. but the last I knew he hadn’t made payments for 3 months. I turned off the phone that got the calls and I don’t care. They can come after me legally, but I won’t be harrassed.

And if they come at me legally, then there might just be a big fat BANKRUPTCY on my record cuz I won’t give them a dime if they don’t find the car. I’d rather them repo it. But I have no idea where it is.

there are probably 2 years left of payments on it, but whatever.

Anyway, I was able to get an address from the car loan people about a year ago for where he MIGHT be. But there is no guarantee that he lives there. It might be his mothers house… or his sister… or nobody. They could have moved. (baboo might help me serve the papers. But maybe I can get my dad to do it. I dunno…)

So we’ll see.

Anyway, I can stop being so agitated if I just start this process and see what happens. It feels like since hes been gone for so long, isn’t a legal citizen, and basically abandoned us that they should cut me a break. I’ve read mixed comments regarding how long I’d have to put an ad in the paper ( a different way to notify that i’m requesting a divorce when the other party can’t be located), some sites said a month, others "it depends on the judge or the state"… *blink*

Anyway, we’ll see.

You know what I’d really love?

To file the papers and go in front of a judge and tell him this story.

And then have him feel some sort of mercy for me and just grant a default divorce and let it be.

We have no property or shared debt (except for the car and that doesn’t count). We never bought a house together and I still don’t have a house… mainly because of that! Legally, we have no children together. He wasn’t there when Jacob was born and I never put him on the birth certificate for this very reason. I do not want child support or spousal support and he’s not entitled to anything from me cuz he has NEVER lived ONE DAY with me. Nope. We spent the night ONCE together and he ran away so fast the next morning you’d think he was on fire.

Wanna know why? He was still with his daughters mom. I know this now. I never even met his daughter. She will never meet her brother. Unless they both grow up and want to persue it.

But whatever. Seriously. We never had a marriage and I hate him.

I wish he would just die.

That would solve everything.

Blah!

Anyway, now I’m all snarky and pissed off.

I wish I could have a donut.

but no.

I just have a choice of frosted shredded mini wheats or a granola bar and some craisins.

oh goodie.

*stab stab stab*