downhill

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another night of restless stress.

Bah.

At least my children are being decent (somewhat) for the majority of their school days.

It sucks that they have to be at school until 5:30.

but that’s what it takes…

They have pictures next week. I keep forgetting to give them the papers.

I can’t even afford dumb ole pictures.

BAH!

How do childrens backpacks get filled up with SO MUCH CRAP. i tried to go sort through it all last night and just got annoyed.

I went to pick up Baboo last night and he was in a hyper happy "tease you till you diiiiie" mood.

I guess it wasn’t bad, I just wish I wasn’t so tempermental and dumb about it so I could laugh with him.

We got home and ate and the children had cake and went to bed without my yelling at them.

I tried to hide inside of FAcebook but it didn’t work last night.

I GOT MY BOOKS!

I thought I was getting used books, but no! These are new and shiny and have that slippery silky feel that new books have. I love that.

I just ran my fingers along the pages and let the "new book smell" whisper across my cheeks.

AHHHHH.

I am conflicted. I want to read two of them at once. The zombe story (Monster Island) and the fantasy story (Rhapsody) are both pullin gat me. I’m putting the zombies aside for now. I want to sorta read it to see how someone else has tackled the subject, but I’ve been waiting for YEARS to read rhapsody and it won.

Boy is it worth it. This woman writes so THICK. Like you can just feel her words pouring around you and creating this world that is rich and full of depth and detail. Her ability to paint scenes makes me shiver.

I long to have that effect on people with my stories an dmy writings.

gah. if only, if only.

If only I could be a writer.

I know I write here and you have NO IDEA how the feedback and the comments from those who read effects me. It makes me feel… relevant. and when I mess up, it makes me feel like I can be better… and I marvel at what that means.

I wish I could trip and fall into a publisher who would read one chapter and fall in love with me and give me a book advance so I could pay my bills (gotta call Wells FArgo, I owe them 11 grand or so. They sold the dumb kia for $3,700… not much. lol. piece of crap!!!)

oh my god, i could KILL SOMEONE.

I’m calling this dumb number and the mailbox is full and I can’t leave a message and I can’t do ANYTHING.

i just got this stupid notice yesterday and today is the last day to call.

i’m getting pissed off.

I could wait until 8, but I shouldn’t have to.

all this shit is fucking EAST COAST TIME.

i’m getting really mad.

I gotta go. be back.