Don’t Fucking Test Me

 

 

 

 

I hate starting out my first entry with a moping complain fest.

but here I am.

but i’ll try to start with the happy.

Ok! happy! Umm, it’s Friday! yaaaay. I have NO PLANS to GO ANYWHERE this weekend. It means I can do a giant massive attack of laundry. I only need to stop at the grocery store to get a few random things that i can hopefully get for 30 bucks or less. fat chance, but we’ll see. I hate that I have NO fresh fruit or veggies. That sucks. My kids eat like crap. I’m a bad mom.

Anyway, yeah. so … blah.

I already feel bored and lonely. but whatever.

ahhhh.

*writhe*

I am in such a mood. I don’t know what to call it. I can’t identify it. It’s restless and uneasy and a little upset. it’s also sad and gloomy and depressed. It’s confused. It’s hesitant. it’s melancholy.

whatever.

stupid mood.

and my period isn’t even coming for another week, so my damn hormones need to LAY OFF AND GIVE ME A BREAK!

though i did just discover that the weekend after this is Memorial day and I get Monday off! Yay! I need it! Jacobs birthday is on the 29th also. Bleh. I hope I have a few extra dollars to get him a cake and some presents. Though we are supposed to be going to my brothers on the 24th for a party and he will get cake and presents then too. I just don’t want to gyp him on his actual birthday.

blargh.

so i got motion sickness on the train again today. what a damn bunch of hooey! My legs felt like rubber bands and i’m generally in a yuck mood. I am going to eat something in a few minutes, so i hope that helps. especially since i essentially skipped dinner. Though I made a quick potroast and then drowned it in bar b que sauce and made sandwiches. the kids loved them and there are a lot of left overs! hurrah! i won’t have to cook tonight! wheee! i might even freeze one (cuz i had three "chunks") for another day. I also plan on whipping out my crock and making some beans and some spaghetti sauce to use over next week (seperate though… sepearate. ha ha!). There actually isn’t a lot of freezer space to store a lot of frozen meals. which sucks.

which brings me to a frustration.

I hate where I live. I hate having to co-exist with people that I don’t really care to see for more than a few seconds every 20 to 30 days. That would be ideal.

so we had a situation the other night.

I will admit that it was MY BAD. i left the front door unlocked on wednesday. It has "become an issue"… but I set my phone alarm and i will now check it every night at 8 once my  kids come in.

But wouldn’t you know it, last night, he comes home, leaves the front door WIDE OPEN and goes into his room.

WAS HE TESTING ME?!

that stupid mother fucker.

don’t fucking TEST ME WHEN IT’S YOU WHO LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR OPEN!!!

When my kids came in I closed and locked both doors. He comes in at 8:45 and leaves them wide open… i assume to check if i’d go check them.

well i did and i locked them and i cursed him and his stupid girlfriend.

i hate them both.

stupids.

i am not meant to live with people that I don’t really even like.

i just can’t do it.

so, i’m HOPING that by the end of summer i have all my bills current. and then I want to try and move. It will suck and I probably shouldn’t do it, but I want to. I keep thinking about my divorce too and if I move too much I might fuck that up. But I want to look at some places I’ve seen around the neighborhood I live in. so we’ll see. I just really long for my privacy and my peace and my ability to leave my own damn doors unlocked so i can allow all the cretans and thieves to come in at their leisure if i motherfucking WANT TO (or ya know, when i forget to, it’s only my fault and i’m not endangering anyones tie collection or whatever the hell).

damn it.

anyway, it’s annoying living with people I don’t particularly want to associate with. the other guy who lives in the garage is a pain in my ass and his kid barges into my room early in the morning with no hesitation. it’s good i’ve started sleeping in clothes.

little shit.

so yeah,

i have work to do, i should go do it. i plan to.

but be warned, all you favs who decided to update en mass yesterday.  i WILL be coming to read you.

as soon as i finish the stuff i get paid to do. ha ha…

Happy Friday…