Church of the Damn Crazy

Documenting, just in case I murder her, you can all know why.

This whore bitch of a neighbor has really crossed the line.

Last night, we saw the gate open. It’s a security gate, right? You CLOSE those, right?

So we closed it.

It is around midnight. 12 AM. It’s dark outside. People leave other people alone.

We are watching a movie (Super 8, yes I’m late. And I also rhyme!) and suddenly there is a loud banging on our door.

That whore bag was  there saying "Oh, I lost my gate key. Can I borrow yours?"

ARE YOU SERIOUS?! ARE YOU REALLY? IT’S MIDNIGHT YOU CRAZY FUCKING SOUR CUNT SAUCE JUG! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Baboo dealt with her, gave her the key. I guess she had a guest over who was leaving… but STILL.

She KNEW she lost her key earlier, or she wouldn’t have left the gate open. If that was the case, isn’t it like… a normal human thing to do to maybe tell the people you share a damn yard with that you’ve lost your key and to not lock it? Or to ask to borrow the key and return it later. or MAYBE call the fucking landlord to give you a copy of the damn key during daylight hours?

 

I find it really hard to believe she JUST found out her key was lost.

 

But, for the sake of argument, lets say she did.

DO YOU REALLY KNOCK ON SOMEONES DOOR AT MIDNIGHT FOR A KEY?!

No, you don’t.

Guess what, your guest gets to sleep over and you wait til the damn morning to call the landlord or talk to the neighbor.

But I really don’t think that happened. She left and came back around 9, she would have closed the gate then, but she didn’t, obviously showing that she didn’t have her key and didn’t want it locked. But did hse try to contact us then? It was late, but not TOO LATE. No, she waited, because she’s a bitch whore.

And we’re not leaving the damn gate wide open. It’s a saturday night, that’s when all the kids like to go up and down the street tagging street signs and fences. The last thing we need is for them to get a wild idea and come up in our yard. Thankfully we have dogs to scare them, but we usually bring them inside at night. We kept them out last night to keep watch.

Ugh that woman infuriates me!!!!

I’m sorry, but I’m fucking making a damn human and I’m really NOT NICE RIGHT NOW.

So yeah, one more strike on that lunatics rap sheet.

I’m so glad I got my laundry done in time.

Oh and she mentioned that she needs to leave the gate open over night because she’s going to church in the morning.

What church?

Church of the Blessed Lunatic? Church of Damn Crazy? Church of the Stank Cunt Whore?

God. (Sorry God, I really am, but COME ON….)

And really, she never leaves the house until after 3 on Sunday. I wonder what church that is for real.

UGH.

I do no like that woman.

She is just ridiculous!!!

 

And really, if you think it was ok for her to disturb us at midnight when she had plenty of time to do it BEFORE it became insane, don’t tell me that you do. Because I’ll add you to my damn hit list too.

 

Oh yeah, I have a ticker. Look at that!

 

 

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 (A zombie apocalypse survival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)  

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February 5, 2012

I would be sooo embarrassed to do something like that! She has some nerve! I agree with you, she should have told her guest to park out in the street somewhere and same for her until she could get a key and/or talk to you guys at a reasonable hour. I have flipped out on neighbors before… idiot crazy stupid neighbors… but it did leave me with 4 slashed tires on 2 different cars. argh!

February 5, 2012

Yeah, I highly doubt she’s going to church. However, I have to admit she could use the guidance.

Well at least she goes to church…apparently going to church does not require following the golden rule. The woman sounds like a tool

February 5, 2012

I don’t think she should be allowed to knock on your door ever knowing all her previous antics. She should have had to call the landlord and had him solve her problems. Unreasonable crazy neighbors suck, especially while pregnant. Been there done that, know how it is. I hope either she moves or you guys are able to find a place away from that lunatic soon. *hugs*

B+
February 5, 2012

I wouldn’t have answered the door, personally. Let the crazy bitch sit at a closed gate. What if you had a newborn that had JUST fallen asleep. I’d have shot her and said I thought she was a burglar breaking in.

February 5, 2012

Dear Mistress Von Chaos, Thanks very much for your note. There is no Mr. Mofo cult, but I have added you to my bookmarks. I geeked on your Humanity Scar story. It seemed to me that the zombie thingies were the least of the survivor’s problems which would be so true because humans…we’re sorta nuts. Take care.

Considering how tired one gets in the first trimester, midnight is beyond too late. I think any contact after 10pm, even if it is the weekend, is too late. I don’t care if you have a light on. There are kids sleeping, animals sleeping, midnight is offensive.

February 5, 2012

You just made my day.

What an obnoxious bitch. I absolutely do not open the door for any person unless they’ve given me at least 24 hours notice that they’re coming to my door. You’re too nice…I’d have flipped my shit and fired a couple of shots.

February 5, 2012

I would have not opened the door. I’ve had people knock on my door at midnight before. The longer they knock, the more pissed off I get until finally I open the door and tell them to go screw themselves and if they knock on my door that late again I’m going to call the police. Sometimes I like confrontation. :-X

February 5, 2012

Don’t worry I do think it was a bit late too. That’s a bit late to be contacting and asking for things. And it can catch you off guard too. So I know you’re feeling about that. Hugs.

February 5, 2012

I’ll bet she is going the Church of the Stank Cunt Whore, if I had to guess. I wouldn’t even answer the door if someone knocked on my door at midnight. What the hell is wrong with people? It’s a new thing called boundaries.

Um….Why didn’t she ask the office people for an extra key? I’d pay whatever the cost was to get into my own house at night…(-_-). Weird neighbor lady…

February 5, 2012

Listen, I am going to road trip to you and we are going to saran wrap her car, her dog, her mailbox, her front door and her toilet bowls.

Maybe she found the Light and is trying to change her wicked ways and by doing so……..bwahaha. Who am I fricking kidding? She is a crazy rotten skunk vagina and needs to be eradicated. What would she have done if you guys wouldnt have answered the door? Keep banging? Selfish!

February 6, 2012

… I bet my hit list is bigger than yours. Now the big question is… Do you have Obama on yours too?

February 7, 2012

who the fuck disturbs anyone at midnight?! i would’ve ignored the banging if someone came over to my house that late. let them think i’m out all night and too bad so sad. and you have a right to be pissed at her leaving the gate open. ugh.ryn: coconut water is pleasant for the first couple mouthfuls and then it just tastes so sweet it’s gross. it’s literally the water that’s in the middle of acocnut when they break them open. to me it’s more like sugar water than nut-flavoured though. too much.